Let’s be real: we’ve all thought at least once about running away to join the circus. Not literally (although we’re not judging if that’s your thing) but in the sense of just ghosting society and starting a completely new life where nobody knows your (real) name.

Someone asked the internet, “People who have "disappeared" to start a new life as a new person, what was it like and do you regret doing it?”, and an online community didn't hold back with their stories. Tuck into this collection of the wildest.

More info: Reddit

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#1

I moved from oregon to ohio about four years ago without really telling anyone. A lot of people probably assumed I'd disappeared, but really just left suddenly. I did it because I was sick of the way my life was going and didn't really see any light ahead. After taking off and traveling across the country I learned a few things, met a couple awesome people, made some amazing memories. But all in all things were pretty much the same. I realized that I could go wherever I want, but it was always gonna be me that arrived. I think now that the only really to change your life is to change yourself. I know that sounds cliche, but that's what I learned.

#2

I was always the one that my 'friends' would pick on. Got high grades, so got called the nerd. Had a boyfriend and was labelled. Travelled a bit, suddenly I'm a snob. Wanted to go study something other than education or nursing (the standard fields they all chose), they accuse me of thinking I'm better than I really am. This went on for 9 years. Didn't matter if whatever they picked on me about was something one of them also did, I was the punching bag. Obviously as a young girl stuff like this has an influence on how you see yourself, so by the time we were in our final year in school, I practised my hobbies in secret, didn't really engage in social activities, kept to myself, always scared of what they will think. I internalized everything, it got to a point where I cut myself in secret (that's a story for another day).

Finally while on holiday in the middle of my matric year, I met a group of people (eclectic and weird bunch of hippies, they were awesome) who I hung out with for the three weeks I was away. They were all so different but they fit in so well with each other because they respected the fact that everyone needs to be their own person. That's when I decided I'm done with all the mess, and I'm done with the people.

So I spoke to my parents, told them my plans, and they agreed to let me do it. After school I moved 1500km away from where I grew up. Lived in residence at varsity, studied what I wanted to without the constant negativity. I met my now best friends there, they're wonderful. I know more about who I am now (still learning a lot) and I'm not afraid to be myself anymore. It's so freeing.

I never told anyone there where I went or that I was leaving. It's been 6 years without them and with no contact with anyone from my home town. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. My parents moved from there the same year that I left as well. I've never been happier.

My only regret is that it took me so long to realised how poisonous those people were to my health.

#3

Faked a big move and cut ties with family and friends. I live about 20miles from my old home and kept my job. It has been 2 years and my anonymity remains intact. Happy life without the drama. Still keep in contact with my little brother, but that's it. Everybody thinks I now live in Russia.
Edit: details.

#4

I dropped everything and left without telling anyone where I was going. I hardly packed anything, just grabbed what I needed and left the state. I go by a different name now and I have no regrets. I was in a terrible place and now I'm so much happier.

I think the only difficult thing is how to figure out who I am now. I spent so much time living for the people around me that I didn't even know who I was. Do I even really like to bowl? Is this really how I want to dress? But I get to re-learn and re-explore myself slowly and it's a wonderful journey.

#5

My story is definitely less extreme than some on here, but it is probably more realistic for those of you considering a big change. And I didn't have to completely restart my life.

I got married about 15 years ago, and was on track for medical school. We were excited about our prospects but we wanted our lives to be an adventure. The expectation was that we would move to Boston and work 80 hours a week. It would have given us both strong careers, but...

So I went to medical school in Ireland. She got a job in Dublin. I worked hard through medical school, but our weekends were in Paris, Rome, Budapest, Istanbul, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Venice, Porto, Tunis, Athens, Oslo, Berlin, and so many more. We could NEVER have afforded even two of these trips from the States, but from Dublin they were dirt cheap. Our target airfare was £15 each way.

We lost a lot of friends in those 6 years but not the good ones. And it was an adventure.

#6

Was with my ex for 3+ years. I don't want to get into details but he was cruel and I didn't know how to get out. So I went to the travel agent booked a one way ticket from Australia to the UK and was gone. Threw my relationship, friends, home-town, belongings, past and job away. Dropped out of uni and moved with about $1800 in my back pocket. Best decision I have ever made. Never looked back, will never go back. Until I had moved I didn't even realize how anxious and depressed I was. How much I was not myself. Thank god I moved! I can't tell you how good it was to wake up in the morning and feel happy, I lived poor and worked hard, but I was happy! I was myself again! No one judging me or making fun of me or telling me that I didn't fit in. Thank you Bristol you saved my life. :) Felt good to vent this!

#7

My experience is more recent. I left about a month ago.

No real responsibilities or debts and meagre savings, packed a bag one night and hit the road the next morning!

Life is good so far. I've met some great people, I've stepped way outside of my comfort zone, I've got a new job and (finally) a place to live, and I've never been happier.

There are people I miss, of course, but I know I'm doing the right thing. It's kind of a scary time in my life right now, but I know I'll be a happier and healthier person in the long run.

#8

I moved half way across the world to get away from my bad reputation. It is refreshing and fantastic to have a clean slate, but it is really really challenging. my parents, siblings and best friends are 6,000+ miles away and i had to forge a new life from scratch with no help I was 17 when I did this BTW. One day I hope to move back there to start over again, but as of now it's great.

#9

Throwaway.

I didn't do any of the ridiculous movie plots you describe. A bit more than seven years ago I got denied from every Ivy League law school I tried for, leading to an existential personal crisis. I did it all right and still failed. After two months working in a kitchen in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico I realized I was going to Law School because I had never actually considered what I *wanted* to do. I took all my savings, a tiny loan from my parents and moved to South America.

After 6 months I got a corporate job (I spoke Spanish already). Then I started a business. The business exploded. I sold the business. I was in Argentina for 3 years, based there while traveling most of Latin America, and Brazil for nearly a year. I mastered Spanish and became fluent in Portuguese. Came back to the USA for a year, taught a little Spanish in a charter school and consulted for a few companies. A year ago I took a job in China, I’m still here.

I’ve made a bunch of money and met a ton of people. I’ve lived with a kind of autonomy and sovereignty over what I do every single day that I could never have imagined as a college student headed for law school. I see possibilities and value so many things that the old me didn’t notice or value. I've had a few beautiful relationships. I’ve been published and paid for writing almost a dozen times now. I’m at complete peace with my career, my life’s trajectory, and money. I no longer see money as a goal but as a means to do what I want to do TODAY. Abandoning the path I was on and going off into the unknown was the best thing I ever did. It is still the primary experience that defines the path that I’m on.

In March-September 2015, I'm filming a travel, surfing, rock climbing, and rural culture documentary with some old friends. My job on the team is 'scout,' I'll be riding a motorcycle ahead of the production crew to scout locations and conduct pre-interviews. When my contract in China ends, I’m taking a year off to travel and write a book that already has a publisher while I wait for the documentary to start.

My parents miss me and I miss them. I've seen my sister 4 times in almost 10 years. I've lost nearly all of my American friendships, although I've managed to retain a handful of the most important ones. I'm 27.
edit: the business was a service to very large companies. I got the idea because I already provided this service on a very small scale to my main employer. no physical product. no stores. it took less than $1000 to start. we didn't even have a website for over a year (to protect from competition finding out). the company was not 'sold'. the company failed when our business license was revoked, a whole other story. what I 'sold' was actually the virtual product and training. and this wasn't some tech start up guys, I didn't sell ask jeeves to google. we charged $300-500 an hour depending, we didn't get much and I only get 55% of that anyways. haha. i'm under NDA and still have a piece of it. rule #1 of business like this: don't tell anyone. I've made less than 10k residually since the 'sale' over two years ago. It's not much.

#10

I'm not a person who changed my life, but I have a uncle who did this who I never met.

I'm Latino, so I learned my uncle was disgusted at being from a Latino family. He hated his heritage, the Spanish language, and I believe he never liked my family. His name was Angelo, but he changed it legally to Angel and his last name too was something more European sounding than his Latino last name.

Even before I was born, I learned that he moved somewhere to Florida, closed a communications with my family, and as far as I know owns a small business out there.

That's as far as I know about him. It's weird to know that he did all that based off of being disgraced at his heritage. Then again there can be details about him I, as well as my family, don't know.

#11

This gave me a temporary fresh start, though I don't recommend it to most.
When I was much younger, I ran away to New York City. It was on my bucket list and I decided I didn't have much else to live for. So I left home with $80 and a plane ticket; a few hours later I found myself on Fulton street. I met random, previously unknown students to room with at Pace University, and got a job the next day 20 blocks away at Energy Smoothie. It was an enlightening time, if not reckless. I mostly remember the kindness of the people I met- Felix, the cop who gave me $10 to eat for a day. Johnny, the garage operator who talked with me for an hour when I was lonely. The woman with a batman belt who gave me an under-the-table job, even though I was under qualified and underage. In NYC, my faith in innate human kindness was restored, as was my hope to continue.
TL;DR I ran away to NYC and found new life.

#12

Everything went wrong where I was living.. I eventually got evicted and moved in with my boyfriend. He was a man that seriously made me feel crazy. Made me feel like I wasn't pretty enough or there was just things plain flat our wrong with ME. I was able to get away and move to a different freaking continent haha. It's been amazing. I've been back and forth between europe and the states, but I wouldn't regret anything. I had some rough goings for a while, but things picked up. Things can still get kidn of hard for me here, but all I know is that I'm loving myself.

#13

I didn't set out to disappear, and indeed, still have contact with one or two people from a life and lifestyle I left behind. After the breakup of a long term relationship, I decided I had had enough of living where I was living and doing what I was doing. So I moved to a different city. Most of my previous friends remained friends with my ex and I felt a bit betrayed by that, considering he cheated on me etc. So I didn't keep up contact with 99% of them. Some didn't even realise I had gone so it was no loss. My family knew where I was, but we have never really been close knit, so phone calls and visits dropped to about twice a year.

Starting a new life was awesome, I was able to focus on myself and figure out who I was, I had adventures and made friends who liked me for me and not for who I was in a relationship with. My name changed slightly - somehow my new friends prefered calling me by an abbreviated version of my name and it stuck. Even I introduce myself as that now.

Years later I kind of did it again, but this time for love. I met a man on the internet and fell in love and moved to the other side of the world to marry him. I didn't 'disappear' that time though. Everyone knew where i was :).

#14

What was it like? You can't escape your personality. Where ever you move, you are still the same person with the same habits, you will attract or repel the same people.
While this can be changed by actively wanting too, a simple location change will not do it.

Source: just moved 3000kms / 1700miles for a fresh start.

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Folks Who “Vanished” Reveal The Realities Of Starting New Lives As New People

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