Children might be true masters of unintentional comedy. Their dead-pan delivery, unique approach to the limited information they have and creative minds sometimes produce sentences that really have never been uttered before. Plus, if an adult said some of these things, it would just be sad.
We’ve gathered some of the most random, funny and unhinged things kids have said that ended up being unintentionally hilarious. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts in the comments section below.
#1
Dad mode here.
When my youngest was 3 he had a magnetic alphabet on the fridge he'd play with. He put the letter "A" on like a ring and it got stuck on his finger so he panicked and ran to me. Through tears he told me "I got my finger stuck in my 'A' hole".
Image credits: anon
#2
Here's a story from my mom about my brother:
They were at the grocery store and he was about 3. He liked to talk to people and say hi. As she was checking out, he talks to the cashier:
"Hi, my name is and this is my mommy! She has three holes and I came out of one of them!"
Poor Mom was mortified but the cashier was dying laughing.
Image credits: anon
#3
Answering for my wife. My daughter was 5 or 6. She was getting her hair cut by our stylist, who happens to be native American. My daughter was asking about some of the symbols and decorations at her station and when my daughter learned about her being native American, she promptly asked "But where are the feathers in your hair?"
Fortunately, we have known this lady for decades and she merely broke up laughing. And explained in her tribe that only the boys wear feathers.
My daughter told her that that was a rip off.
Image credits: Gavroche15
#4
My wife and I were taking several of our little nieces on a day trip and they came to an agreement among themselves that Santa had to be real because their mom was "too cheap to ever spend that much money on a gift".
Image credits: anon
#5
I'm a 90's kid, I grew up Grunge and still dress like I am auditioning for a Nirvana film clip. I was telling my 10yr old daughter that I was thinking about growing dreadlocks and she said "Well you already look homeless so why not?"
Image credits: No_Measurement9802
#6
She wouldn't eat her dinner...macaroni and cheese and chopped up hot dogs. I was getting frustrated, when she suddenly looked me in the eye and said very seriously 'I can't eat dis. I think the hot dogs are making the noodles noivous...' Turns out I'd undercooked the pasta. I had to hide my face to keep her from seeing me laugh.
To this day we call undercooked or al dente pasta 'nervous'.
Image credits: anon
#7
When I was a kid and saw Romani women in their traditional dresses I told my mum to "look at those princesses".
Image credits: cinnamongirl1205
#8
My 3 year old upon seeing an African American.
"Look Mommy! A basketball player."
*Said to my wife, not me.
Image credits: Esoteric_Erric
#9
As a dad: today my 3 yr old daughter commented on the tv, that the news was 'not appropriate for her age', and I needed to switch to the 'my little pony' channel.
Image credits: damusic2me
#10
My 6 year old announced at a family gathering "daddy's doodle has a beard".
Image credits: pandachook
#11
I told my cousins 6 year old that I was so fat because that's where I hid my secrets. She told me I needed less secrets.
I've lost 70 pounds so it's safe to say I now have less secrets.
Image credits: gothiclg
#12
Not said to me but overheard a conversation between two kids around 6 years old.
Kid 1, running up to Kid 2: "What's your name?"
Kid 2, slightly taken back: "I'm not telling you!"
Kid 1, turning around and walking off: "Guess it must be a pretty stupid name."
Image credits: MeltingDog
#13
My oldest child had trouble with speech, specifically "s". We were in a gas station paying for my fuel and she asked me if she could have a (insert N word white people arent suppose to say here). I was mortified. Because I paused out of panic, she said it again louder than before because she thought I didn't hear her.
Edit: she wanted a Snickers.
Image credits: GOTdragons127
#14
Ok I'm not a mother, but when my son was 3 he was at nursery. As I was fetching him, he innocently asked the attractive 20 year old nursery worker 'Do you have any toys you play with at home?'
I almost lost it. To her credit she kept a very straight face.
Image credits: gasdocscott
#15
My mom was young when she had my siblings and me, so our children grew up with great grandparents who were just as big a part of their lives as most kids' grandparents are. One morning my three year old niece was dissatisfied with something my sister was doing, so she hotly informed my sister that as soon as they got to Granny's house she was going to tell her mother on her and she would be in trouble!
My sister laughed and explained that Granny was not her mother, grandma is and Granny is Grandma's mother. Then my sister scoffed and said, 'girl, how are you going to tell my mama anything? You don't even know who my mama is!'.
Later that day, while they were doing whatever they were doing at my grandmother's house, the niece repeated a misbehavior that she had gotten into trouble for earlier and had been warned against repeating. My sister scolded her and said she'd be telling her dad about it when he got home that evening. My niece glared at her, scoffed, and said, 'how are you going to tell my daddy anything? You don't even know who my daddy is!'. There was a stampede out of that room because we didn't dare let her see that we were laughing or it would become her new 'thing'.
#16
I went to ask my mom on this fine Mother's day. When my brother was 9, my mom was yelling at him for something. In the most serious voice he could muster he said, "But I'm a man mommy!"
She said she wanted to laugh, but just said "Okay" and walked out. No one in my family has ever let him live that moment down.
Image credits: PeppermintCarnations
#17
My son and daughter were about 7 and 9 when Fred was a youtube thing. I got home from work one afternoon and they were so excited to tell me about an episode of Fred they had just watched. In the episode Fred says his mom spends a lot of alone time in the bathroom listening to the radio, but the radio must be broken because it just goes bzzzzzzzz. It was impossible to keep a straight face. I asked if they knew what he was talking about and they looked at me like I was stupid and said "duh! Shes shaving her legs!"
Yes my darlings shes shaving her legs. 😅.
#18
Not a mom, but one time I ran inside, crying, sobbing, the whole shebang. I then say, “brother called me a tattle-tail!” She then had to explain that the reason I was a tattle-tail was because I told her about everything, while trying not to laugh at me.
She never will let me live it down, though to be fair, it is hilarious.
#19
My mom won’t let me down the moment that my brother slit my wrist with a weedwacker and I told her “Can I have a bandaid please” while sobbing and bleeding out.
Image credits: Bradybattlemask
#20
I was babysitting asked if I wanted to marry him. I explained I'm too old for him and he said "that's right, you're 100" I was sixteen at the time.
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Image credits: queerqueen098
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