Man Goes Through Partner’s Phone To Find Messages He Didn’t See Coming, Sparks A Discussion

When the urge to check your partner’s phone arises, that alone can be a sign that something’s not quite right in the relationship. Be it a lack of trust, certain mixed signals sent to a person outside of the relationship, or an actual affair happening behind someone’s back, snooping is unlikely to make someone’s bond stronger.

One netizen recently turned to the Mumsnet community, sharing that she found her partner going through her phone; and it wasn’t the first time he did so. Asking for thoughts from fellow netizens, the user shared more details, which made some people believe she was in the wrong herself. Scroll down to find the full story and the discussion below.

Checking your partner’s phone without permission can break their trust

Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual image)

This woman found her partner snooping through her phone

Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual image)

Image credits: whatnowisont

A lack of trust can be seriously detrimental to people’s relationships

Needless to say, trust is one of the fundamental aspects of forming a relationship. Without mutual trust, you can’t really open up to your partner, make them feel comfortable enough to open up to you, or make each other feel safe, which might lead to a rather rocky or short relationship.

In a piece for Psychology Today, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Shannon Sauer-Zavala, Ph.D., pointed out that when people feel vulnerable or unsafe in relationships, they tend to behave in a way that allows them to protect themselves, which can be detrimental to the relationship.

“For example, you might feel abandoned (and angry) when your partner comes home after work an hour late and hasn’t texted you. You might repeatedly text them several angry messages and continue to yell when they get home,” the expert wrote. “Unfortunately, the intensity of the anxiety or anger can cloud your ability to see what it is you really wanted—a nice night with your partner—and can actually make the rest of the night, and perhaps even the relationship itself, worse off.”

Eradicating the likelihood of protective behavior by building trust can arguably lead to a calmer day-to-day, and, consequently, to a more stable relationship.

Image credits: Odonata Wellnesscenter (not the actual image)

Technology and social media seems to significantly affect people’s level of trust

His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said, “We need friends and friendship is based on trust. To earn trust, money and power aren’t enough; you have to show some concern for others. You can’t buy trust in the supermarket.”

It’s true; it’s not easy to earn someone’s trust, you can’t just go someplace and buy it. However, losing it is, unfortunately, much easier; especially in the digital age, thanks to the technology and social media many of us are using daily.

A report on the impact modern technology has on people’s relationships, based on a global survey of 1000 respondents, found that the convenience of modern technology is particularly detrimental in regards to trust.

Nearly half of respondents (49.20%) admitted having used modern technology for spying on their loved ones by snooping on their Instagram accounts to see who has liked their photos. (More than 60% shared having had suspicions that their partner snooped on their social media proﬁles.)

According to the report, seven-in-ten respondents have looked at their significant other’s phone when they were out of the room; some, arguably, for a reason, bearing in mind that 25% of surveyed people who have been caught cheating were caught via technology and social media.

The OP’s partner didn’t find proof of cheating. He did, however, find out that his better half was attracted to someone else, which was something netizens saw differently – some said it’s normal to show interest in other people as long as you don’t act on it, while others believed that having these thoughts alone was already a sign that something’s wrong. That started a heated discussion in the comments under the post.