Money isn’t everything, but it certainly does make the world go ‘round. Especially when you’re a parent and your top priority is ensuring that you can care for your little ones. But is it vital for your partner to earn the same amount that you do? Well, for some people, it is.
Below, you’ll find a post that one hard working mom recently shared on MumsNet detailing why she’s been becoming less and less attracted to her partner as of late.
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it might help your relationship become more stable
Image credits: puhhha (not the actual photo)
One mom shared online that she has been considering ending her relationship due to how little her partner earns
Image credits: KaterynaKet (not the actual photo)
Image source: OreganoOregano
While it’s understandable not to want to pay for everything, it’s actually quite common for one partner to contribute more financially to a relationship
In the same way that we don’t choose our friends based on their level of income, we don’t choose our romantic partners in that way either. (Well, we shouldn’t!) The heart wants what the heart wants. And as it turns out, the heart does not often care about income levels, as 74% of Americans report having some sort of financial imbalance in their relationship. For many people, it doesn’t matter if their partner earns less than they do, as their relationship isn’t based on finances and there are plenty of other ways significant others can contribute to the relationship, such as taking on more household responsibilities or getting creative with dates that don’t cost much.
But for some people, such as the woman in this particular story, the financial imbalance can cause friction between partners. One might feel guilty for not being able to earn as much, while the other might become resentful that their partner cannot pay for as many activities, as many meals, cannot afford to go on as many vacations, and cannot purchase as many gifts. One partner might also feel a lot of pressure if they’re the higher earner, knowing that they are responsible for financing the majority of the relationship.
This financial imbalance can sometimes cause one partner to feel guilty and the other to feel resentful
Image credits: insidecreativehouse (not the actual photo)
Money consistently ranks as one of the top issues couples fight about, married or not, so it’s important to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to your financial status. And the best way to understand where one another are coming from is to just have a conversation. In a previous interview with Bored Panda, Adam Kol, aka The Couples Financial Coach, shared some tips for how couples who have a significant earning gap can keep it from affecting their relationship.
“Lean into the discomfort and talk about it. Acknowledge it out loud, and share how it feels to be on either side of the dynamic, including any fears or worries that come along with it,” Adam told Bored Panda. “Then, talk about how you can work with the dynamic so that things feel fair and equitable, understanding that ‘fair’ is hard to define and doesn’t necessarily mean equal. Keep in mind that the goal is to make things as good as possible for the family as a whole, which will give the whole conversation a better tone.”
And if you do happen to earn the same amount as your partner, you’re in the lucky minority. Because according to one study, couples who are both at the same income level are more likely to stay happily in love. One possible reason for this is “the marriage bar”, or the fact that couples are more likely to commit to getting married when they both reach a certain level of affluence. Patrick Ishizuka, a postdoctoral fellow at Cornell University’s Population Centre, has discussed this “bar” in a paper he wrote about how money can impact the stability of a relationship.
“Once couples have reached a certain income and wealth threshold, they’re more likely to marry,” Ishizuka says. “They want to have a house and a car and enough savings to have a big wedding; and they also want to have stable jobs and a steady income.”
But at the end of the day, whether the relationship will succeed or not depends on both parties’ priorities
Image credits: Rene Asmussen (not the actual photo)
Other concerns that might come up when one person earns significantly more are the issue of the higher earning having more power in the relationship, and the lower earner possibly feeling reliant on their significant other, even in times where they may want out of the relationship. But there are plenty of couples out there who make it work on only one income as well. In fact, nearly half of all spouses whose partner earns $250k a year or more don’t work at all. So at the end of the day, a couple’s stability depends on many factors outside of their financial earnings.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Would it bother you if your partner earned significantly more or less than you? Or do you consider other factors to be much more important in your relationship? Feel free to continue the conversation in the comments, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing conflicts that arise when one partner earns more than the other, we recommend reading this story next!
In this case, some readers agreed with the mom that it is time to end the relationship
While others thought she was being too hard on her partner
One reader even recommended ways that the couple could try to find a healthy compromise
The post Mom Says She’s Getting “The Ick” For Her Partner Because She Has To Pay For Everything, Wonders If It’s Time To End The Relationship first appeared on Bored Panda.
from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/dzWkNMc
via Boredpanda
