People aspire to be perfect. But we're flawed. So when we try to hide our shortcomings, often the only person that we're fooling is ourselves. And there's a Reddit post to remind us of that if we ever forget.
Created by user TheBlanketFortPirate, it asked everyone, "What's something we all just pretend no one does, but in truth we know we all do it?" The platform's community immediately noticed it and in less than two weeks, it has already received over 19K comments, many of which provide accurate answers! Continue scrolling to check out those that received the most upvotes.
#1
Panic clean before guests come over to then apologize for the mess.
Image credits: StressAccomplished30
#2
Making up fake scenarios in our head.
Image credits: Mania08
#3
Coming up with the perfect comeback in your head long after the other person left.
Image credits: HotelMemory
#4
Google an unrecognizable number rather than just answer the call to find out who it is#5
“It is not the picking of the nose that separates us, but what comes after”- My dad, 2015
Image credits: Big_Nasty_420
#6
Talking to ourselves.
Image credits: Mr_Lexu
#7
Intrusive thoughts that make us question whether we're secretly psychopaths.
Image credits: Advanced_Union6240
#8
Winning fake arguments in your head.
Image credits: paradise_lost9
#9
Have a full conversation with your pet. I can't be the only one.
Image credits: Scared-Department-96
#10
Reading comments/texts multiple times after sending/posting them. Just to let the fact that you’re a modern day Shakespeare settle in.
Image credits: Nexrosus
#11
Get enraged at the things a bully did 40 years ago.
Image credits: AttemptingToGeek
#12
Procrastination!
Image credits: Sneh_Vatsa
#13
Read messages from the notification bar then pretending you didn't see the message only much later.
Image credits: kaylaandre
#14
Look up words that people use because we don't know the meaning even though we pretend to when they are talking.
Image credits: j_grouchy
#15
Tell small lies. Particularly to make us and others feel better.
Image credits: Actuaryba
#16
Fantasize about doing something/someone you shouldn't.
Image credits: MarcusAntione
#17
Secret Playlist of songs you don't want anybody knowing you're into#18
Making up conversations in my head before something important. Like I will say this and then the response from other person might be this.. sometimes it can go for 10-15 min before I snap back to reality.
Image credits: hastinapur
#19
Lying about things like "How are you?“ or" You need help?" and so on.#20
Kids hide their profanity from Adults, and Adults hide their profanity from Kids. Because both sides must maintain the illusion that the other side doesn't know that they know profanity.
Image credits: nagol93
#21
Judge other people.
Image credits: PleasedBeez
#22
Convincing yourself in your head that everyone around you is doing things perfectly and at full efficiency and expect the same of the people around them.No? Just me?
Image credits: adamantitian
#23
I don't know if we all do it, but open a card and pretend not to see cash fall out while reading the card. Haha#24
Deliberately delay responses to text messages and e-mails, even though it would be convenient to reply.#25
Trying to fart carefully so that it doesn't make too loud of a sound.#26
Assume you are "above average" intelligence.
Image credits: Kingpine42069
#27
Looking at a couple and wondering what their sex life is like.#28
Have anxiety after social events."Was I weird?"
"Did they like me?"
"Did I look well enough?"
We all do this. Your friends don't hate you. They are just as worried about you hating them as you are of them. A healthy person doesn't sit and think about how much they hate a person they either just saw or met. Your real friends won't care about the things you think they hate you for (acting weird, saying something awkwardly, second hand embarassment). Just breathe. You are loved, even if it's just by yourself. You are loved.
#29
Constantly talking to oneself, making weird noises, and doing weird dances while alone. Or is it just me?!#30
We all know you sign up for the free trial and cancel it before it’s over. It’s ok I do it too.#31
Look at the bowl after we poop.#32
Stalking other people on social media... everyone does it...no one wants to admit it.#33
Thinking about embarrassing moments#34
When you go into an aisle in the grocery store and you see someone in front of the object you’re looking for so you pretend you’re getting something else all while hovering near them waiting for them to leave that area so you can get said object.#35
Fart in public.I was at Home Depot a few months back and I was walking down an aisle and another dude was walking down that same aisle towards me. When he realized I would be walking where he just was his exact words were, “I bout just s**t my pants right over there, maybe give it a minute before you head that way”…
I’ve never been so appreciative towards a complete stranger. That’s real looking out for your fellow man right there! We’ve all been out and unknowingly walked through someone else’s fart… or had someone else walk through ours…
Edit: Wow! After reading y’all’s comments- everything from husbands/wives busting a*s in a grocery store line and one leaving the innocent spouse to take the heat, to teachers purposely crop dusting students who are acting a fool, I’ve realized y’all are some sick and twisted individuals…and I love it and I’m pretty sure some of you are evil geniuses.
To those of you who have commented how gross we are and that you have never popped one off in public- let me apologize one behalf of all of us filthy mcnasty’s.
And lastly, to all of you who have fallen victim to the errant air biscuit and have suffered trauma because of it- I’m pretty sure this is where some of y’all’s origin stories begin… Please remember that there are good people like my Home Depot homie who are doing gods work trying to prevent people from the awful experience of unknowingly walking through and tasting someone else’s brand…
Simply put- y’all are awesome!
#36
day dreaming about kissing/cuddling with someone. No one admits to it cause it sounds weird as hell, but we've all done it and likely most of us still do it.#37
Watch movies with IMDB pulled up looking at what other things actors have been in#38
My papaw always said there's two people in this world. People who pee in the shower, and liars.#39
Smell our own body odor#40
Lying about watching a video or seeing a meme someone sent you by text because you can’t be bothered at the moment#41
Daydreaming about childish s**t.No, when you ask what I'm thinking and i say nothing when you saw me zone out, I wasn't literally thinking of nothing.
For that minute I was a a race car driver or an astronaut.
Yes I've made plans in my head on how I would go about trying to weigh my own head or how much I'd like to just wail in that crying baby's face to see how it would react.
No I'm not going to say that when you ask me to my face, I'll lie and say nothing, say nothing of importance or hit rewind till the last vaguely important plot point to say I was thinking about to save face.
#42
I'm sure there's actually a term for this but the thing you do when you're upset or hurt and then attribute it to something that feels more respectable to be upset about. Like instead of crying because you're mad that someone forgot your birthday spirals into the long history of wrongs that person has made. Because it's embarrassing to say that you just wanted to be a special boy for a day.#43
We think that we are special#44
Looking at other's butts.#45
Apologize to inanimate objects#46
Saving dead batteries, pretending we will dispose of them properly and then getting to the point where it's out of control and we hide them in the trash can.#47
We all brush our teeth until our gums bleed before going to the dentist even though we know it's going to do absolutely nothing#48
When you make plans with someone and then regret it, so you cancel the plans with a lie about why you can't make it instead of saying you just don't feel like going.#49
Incoming call. First thought: *oh why in the heck is this person calling me..*Answer: "Hey George! So glad you called..."
#50
Recently I had to insist that my wife knocks loudly and waits before opening my son’s bedroom door. I really had to explain why FFS! I know he’s constantly jacking off, but he would be mortified if anyone knew, especially his parents.#51
Enjoy a song from Nickelback.#52
Imagining how you would kill someone but you realise it's far too much effort#53
Leave clean towels/clothes in the laundry basket for days and putting off folding them.#54
Use q-tips to clean ears. We all *know* it's bad and you're just hurting yourself in the longterm... but damn does it feel great to scratch those itchy, dirty ear canals.#55
I can’t be the only guy who looks at another dude and wonder how big his d**k is compared to mine.#56
Kicking the ice cube that fell under the refrigerator, so we don't have to pick it up.#57
Office workers slacking off for at least half of their 'working' hours. 40hr work weeks are antiquated for many of us, I know I can do my job in 15-20hrs/week and the other 20-25hrs are me just kind of... Sitting around. Why don't we all just cut the b******t and live our f*****g lives already?#58
Make snap judgements about people based on their appearance.This could be anything from race, gender, age, clothing, hairstyle, facial appearance, etc.
We make these judgements before we have time to think about it. It’s almost instant. None of us like to talk about this because some of these judgements are controversial.
#59
Complain about others speeding and saying they are going too fast for no reason but giving ourselves a pass because what we are late for is really important#60
Scratching your crotch.#61
Get jealous of our friend.#62
Calling in a professional after leaving something way too long#63
Talk to our pets and imagine their responses.from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/1zWrROJ
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