Husband Wonders If He Was Wrong For Blowing Up At His Sister And Mom After They Insisted He Let His Wife Be A Stay-At-Home Mom

Lots of parents dream of being a stay-at-home mom or dad. Getting to escape the rat race and focus all of your time and energy on taking care of your loving family and managing your household sounds like a pretty sweet deal to a lot of people. Of course, being a parent is always a full-time job, regardless of whether that mom or dad has another job they’re actually getting paid for. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having one parent stay at home, as long as both parties agree and they meet the most important prerequisite: that the whole family can survive on one income. One person usually can’t just decide they don’t want to work anymore, especially when they don’t even have kids to take care of yet…

Last week, one husband, Agile_Creme2395 on Reddit, shared a dilemma that he has found himself in with his family and reached out to others for some advice. Below, you will find his full story explaining what his wife is hoping for and what his concerns are, as well as some of the replies readers have left on his post. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments too, especially if you or your partner happen to be a stay-at-home spouse or parent. Then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda story featuring stay-at-home parent drama, check out this article next.

This husband is wondering if he was wrong for blowing up at his family members after they supported his wife’s decision to stop working

Image credits: Heather Mount (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Jessica Da Rosa (not the actual photo)

The husband later clarified some details about the situation after reading comments

Image credits: Agile_Creme2395

An important part of being married is making decisions with your partner as a team. If both spouses are not on the same page, that’s where problems start to arise. The husband in this particular situation has very valid reasons for disagreeing with his wife, though. He has explained that he enjoys his career, and does not want to find another one. However, at this time, they cannot afford to have only that single income. One would think that his wife would understand that and not want to sacrifice her quality of life either, or force her husband to become stressed out trying to make ends meet while they don’t even have kids yet.

Having children complicates a relationship in many ways, but one of the largest changes it causes is the financial aspect. Having children can become extremely expensive, from all of the food, clothing, cribs, toys, the nursery, as well as the larger costs later down the road like education. That can be a massive burden for one partner to have to take on. And at the end of the day, both spouses should be emotional support for one another as well. They should not be actively making each other’s lives more challenging.

He also answered some questions to help readers better understand the situation

When it comes to how common stay-at-home parents are, in the United States, about one in every 5 parents is a stay-at-home mom or dad. But how high the one working parent’s income is is certainly a factor in whether or not a parent gets to stay at home. In one study, nearly half of the mothers who had a partner who made over $250,000 a year were stay at home moms. If they are in a comfortable place financially, they don’t necessarily need to worry about having two income streams and can opt to stay at home with their children. After all, daycare and nannies are expensive and they aren’t always worth the hassle. Why not have one parent with the kids or managing the home during the days?

However, being a stay-at-home parent is no walk in the park. Despite the misconception that they don’t do much during the day, the average stay at home parent actually works the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs and could charge about $115,000 per year for their work, if they were doing it for someone else. Heading into an office every day can be exhausting, but at least, in theory, there are set working hours. We all know plenty of people end up working more than 40 hours a week, but they don’t usually intend to. A stay-at-home parent, on the other hand, typically works about 14-hour long days, when their children are at home, and those days usually include a mere 1.7 hours of free time built-in.

Despite what the wife in this story imagines about being a stay-at-home partner, it’s not always a dream, especially if your spouse is barely making enough to make ends meet. Besides, many people find having a career fulfilling and motivating, while staying at home can be lonely and isolating. It can be difficult to decide what the best course of action is for your family, but one thing that’s important is that both parties are on the same page and happy with the decisions made. Let us know how you feel about this situation down below, and if you have ever been a stay-at-home parent or spouse, feel free to share about your experience as well.