Whether we hide it well or not, we all have a handful of insecurities. As we pick our physical or internal features apart, we often risk becoming too obsessed with something that has no rational ground.
While many women out there know what it means to be way too judgemental of themselves, men are no exception. In a society where an illusory image of a strong and successful man has been fostered since the dawn of time, they find it particularly hard if not impossible to express their vulnerable side.
So this thread on Ask Reddit shares a whole new light on insecurities men have that they often remain silent about. “Girls of Reddit, what is something guys shouldn't feel insecure about?” someone asked, and below we wrapped up the most interesting responses.
Also, when you’re done, don’t forget to check out our previous feature on common female insecurities that according to men don’t matter at all.
#1
Dont feel insecure about liking "girly" things. Order that fruity drink, watch that rom com, and sing in the shower. A lot less people care than you might realize.
Image credits: Areasley
#2
It's ok to not be the smartest person in the room. Admitting you don't know/understand a thing does not make you look weak. Blustering your way through makes you seem like an arrogant a*s.
Image credits: Iddywah
#3
Appearing feminine over stupid things, like thinking a puppy is cute, wearing pink, or being generally friendly and smiley. Women like that s**t and get annoyed and exhausted by men who take masculinity too far.
Image credits: eyebrowshampoo
#4
Their muscles— or lack thereof. Girls aren’t as into muscles as you might think :)That said, a man who doesn’t look that muscly but is strong is very attractive.
Image credits: anon
#5
Guys shouldn't have to be insecure about crying. Masculinity standards make men feel they shouldn't ever cry, but its a healthy way if expressing sadness and can even be a method of getting rid of stress.
Image credits: kiriechi
#6
Height.I know the popular presumption is ~anyone under 6 ft is screwed~ but if a girl considers a couple inches to be a dealbreaker she’s not worth your time anyway. I’m short, but lots of my tall and beautiful friends have dated men somewhat to quite a bit shorter than them. It’s no big deal.
Edit: to all the dudes snarking about how the above is not true, I promise ya, that kinda sh*tty attitude is wayyyy more unattractive than any physical characteristic. And if the only women you ever want truly *all* diss you for height, well...I’d look inwardly about your own tastes, too.
Image credits: giraffewoman
#7
Being vocal when they orgasm ! I've seen so many guys just hold their breath and try to choke any sound that might come out of their throat when they cum and it's just a little sad, like what are you afraid of ? I wanna know you're having fun, I wanna know you enjoy what's happening ! Be loud about it, screw the neighbors !
Image credits: GwendolynWeatherwax
#8
Being open about what they do/like.My current boyfriend loves singing but is so shy even though he has an amazing voice.
Image credits: Lucdreamin
#9
Cumming quickly. I am honored, sir.
Image credits: batsicle
#10
Showing kindness. Along the same lines of emotion but it's ok to be nice. It's not attractive being an aggressive jerk all the time (or at all).
Image credits: theknittedgnome
#11
Some friends of mine are really insecure about not being able to grow a beard. Tbh it doesn’t really matter.
Image credits: barstudent
#12
D**k size and their weightI understand some ppl might think this is a lie but I personally think so as a woman bc size is not what determines how good sex is. Some may hav a preference, but with 7 billion people in this world, I think preferences are diverse. Plus, there are vagina sizes too. Many ppl forget that.
As for weight, love ur body. Confidence is attractive. It only shud be put to concern if ur health is affected by it.
Also, this is my opinion, this isn’t a lie bc this is genuinely how I think. I know there are people out there who can agree, while others may not.
EDIT: I MEANT THEIR BODY WEIGHT LMFAO
Image credits: anon
#13
A good example is actually happening right now. I’m at a pool party. Two very nice overweight guys are in the pool but they are both wearing tee shirts to cover their guts and just standing around. Then there is a 3rd heavyset guy who easily has an extra 40 pounds on the other two guys. He is shirtless having the time of his life playing with abandon the pool basketball game and cracking jokes. He is way more attractive to the girls because he isn’t ashamed of his body and exudes confidence.Should all three lose weight? Sure, most of us should, but don’t stop having fun because you are ashamed of yourself. Live your life and have fun. This is very attractive to all people.
Just my opinion. I’m a middle aged woman and I think I have a bit of wisdom about things like this. I’ve seen some s**t ha.
Image credits: Dabo57
#14
Not making as much money as their girlfriend or wife. If you're with the right girl she won't care. As long as you have a career that makes you happy, that's all that should matter.
Image credits: svdel
#15
Starbucks barista. Don’t be ashamed of your drink! Pink drink, Frappuccino, chai tea, they’re delicious! And we want you to have a tasty drink!
Image credits: TinyTinasRabidOtter
#16
Singing.I love when I’m at a chill pizza joint and the cooks in the kitchen are singing. Doesn’t even matter if they’re not great singers. I love when people are happy enough to sing!
Image credits: SucksHellaDick69
#17
The flip side of the comments about not being able to grow a beard - guys shouldn't feel insecure about being hairy. I love a hairy chest, and don't find a hairy back or shoulders to be a problem.Like most things listed here, yeah you'll find women who won't like it, but if they are willing to write you off for something physical that is out of your control, they probably aren't the person for you.
I will say, regardless of anything else, hygiene is important. If you're hairy you might sweat more depending on the climate and how warm you run, but if you shower regularly and keep everything clean, it's all good.
Edit : yes, this includes hairy butts, backs, legs, shoulders, etc. I think the only thing I might ask someone to trim would be crazy nose hair - though that could be disguised by a moustache.
Image credits: mrskoobra
#18
Guys shouldn't feel so insecure about they're body shape. You don't have to have big biceps or washboard abs in order for a girl to like you.Edit: their*
Image credits: anon
#19
Receding hairline. If we love you we love you#20
acknowledging other attractive guys, women say other women are beautiful all the time why can’t guys say the same things about other guys without fearing being called gay#21
They should stop feeling insecure about showing emotion, especially in a relationship. I know a lot of guys grew up being told that showing emotion was ‘girly’ but honestly when a guy is open about how he is feeling and doesn’t suppress it, it makes everyone feel more secure. When the girl feels like she’s the only one who has real feelings in the relationship then it’s hard to trust the guy, and the guy often feels misunderstood as he isn’t conveying what he wants to. Guys, please know it’s okay to be emotional, you deserve to be honest with the people around you and it makes relationships so much better for everyone involved
Image credits: spidermanns
#22
Being able to admit that you were wrong and apologize.#23
Being empathetic towards women's issues.A lot of men tend to downplay or water down women's reactions, especially when they are in a group. Maybe because they don't want to seem as if they think differently from other men in the group.
If you empathise, you empathise. Doesn't make you less if a man for understanding us and where we're coming from.
Image credits: herroyalcattyness
#24
What you do for a living. I feel like everyone is trying to be their best and if that's minimum wage, that's ok. Nothing sexier than a hard worker with dreams.
Image credits: [deleted]
#25
About wanting to be the little spoon
Image credits: klymers
#26
Don't be embarrassed to get a Mani/Pedi!
Image credits: pinkpanda223
#27
Living with your parents/being close to your parents. As long as they don't have to do your thinking for you, it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!#28
Chest hair. My husband is a gorilla and it's hot. But he's insecure. Always wears undershirts to keep it from showing, but he can take me anytime. He doesn't need to hide it.
Image credits: anon
#29
Asking for help.#30
Opening up to people
Image credits: retropretty
#31
If they have guilty pleasures liking girly pop music. I find it attractive and cute if a guy is confident and comfortable enough with himself to sing along and enjoy "girly" pop songs.#32
Apologizing. It builds bridges, it’s not destruction to your ego unless you interpret it that way (so don’t interpret it that way).
Image credits: cmhaml
#33
Don’t feel bad if you don’t always take the lead in a relationship! Those are two way streets, and a lot of girls don’t mind or even enjoy being the one to make the first move or ask you on a date.Besides that, though, don’t be insecure about being genuine and heartfelt with friends, family, and partners alike. You can say “I love you” to your friends without a “no homo” attached. Being close with your family is endearing. It’s okay to cry.
Just be yourself!
Image credits: Elrochwen
#34
their hobbies.i know a lot of drawing and creative guys, but they embarrass. also their friendly attitude to girls. why?? don’t be shy!
ALSO IF YOU LIKE GIRL SAY IT, ADMIIIIIIIIT
Image credits: coolestkatik
#35
Guys, you aren't nerds and neckbeards if you play videogames, idk about other females but i love them and the decent ones dont mind
Image credits: anon
#36
Guys shouldn't feel insecure about stereotypical masculine standards. You want to do handicrafts like sew or crochet or scrapbook? Great, we can do it together. I suck at them though, so the farthest I'll probably get is watching YouTube tutorials with you. You can wear cute things and accessories like scarves and handbags, hell you can borrow mine. If you need some time to unload emotionally with a bubble bath or a one-on-one afternoon tea about whatever jerk you encountered x days ago, it doesn't mean you're weak or unreliable. It means you know how to handle your emotions in a controlled and healthy way.
Image credits: justyoaveragecactus
#37
Glasses!#38
Not wanting to be sexually dominant.from Bored Panda https://bit.ly/3cF7asJ
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