When something good happens in your life, you want to share it with your friends, you confide in them when you are having a rough period in your life and you are there for their joys and troubles. Friends are necessary for people to be happy, but somehow we manage to call people our friends who don’t really care about us or hang around just because they know they can use us.
Somehow it is hard to tell when you’re the only one putting effort into the relationship and are not receiving anything for what you give. Every friendship is different, so you need to evaluate whether the friendship brings you more happiness or hurt to determine whether it is worth keeping in touch with that person.
Redditors shared their own stories of what happened between them and their friends that led them to realize their relationship wasn’t as strong as they thought. Even though it probably wasn’t easy, in the end, they certainly benefited from the breakup.
#1 Friend Didn't Care About The OP Relapsing And Possibly Dying
She was one of my best friends, I guess. She was a self-centered drunk, but had some good qualities. We were talking on the phone one day, and she rambled on and on about her stupid, lazy co-workers. Then I told her I was afraid I was starting to relapse (life-threatening illness I thought I was over). She sighed and said "....AND? What's that to ME?" She was bored and wanted to talk about herself. When I got off the phone I emailed her a "Dear Karen" letter, saying don't ever contact me again. She didn't, and I didn't either. And I wasn't relapsing after all, thank God.
Image credits: [deleted]
#2 Friends Went To An Event As A Group Without The OP
Tried to invite them to an event I go to every year. Day of I go by myself and find out weeks later they went as a group without me.
Image credits: naomiteabee
#3 Friend Distanced Themselves After Divorce
Was a cop wife for twenty years. When you divorce you not only lose your cop family, you evidently lose your best friend who is married to a cop. I learned a valuable lesson. Friendships built on a common thread last only as long as that thread remains. Heartbreaking.
Image credits: TrustMeIaLawyer
#4 Friends Said They Would Come To The Wedding, But Didn't
My wife and I had a small wedding. I didn’t invite a ton of people but I invited 15 or so friends. Besides my best man, only one showed up. What’s worse is that all these people said they were coming. I no longer put effort towards those friendships.EDIT: I’ve struggled with social anxiety my whole life. These “friends” were all people I met at work. I work at a big company and this was the first time I actually had friends. I wouldn’t call any of them super close but I thought they were at least close enough to come to my wedding as they always talked about coming and would comment saying that I better invite them. I worked on several different teams then and most of them didn’t know each other. I don’t think it was intentional. I just think I misinterpreted what true friends are. I was more of a casual friend to them than they were to me. I did wonder if I did something wrong and it made me feel pretty awful for a while, but as someone who didn’t have experience with friendships I think I just invited people who didn’t really value me as much as I value them.
I hope that makes sense. I definitely looked back at my behavior, and like I said, I wondered for the longest time if I had did something wrong, if it was my fault.
Image credits: Smoky6593
#5 Friends Went To Another Person's House To Have The Super Bowl Party
I decided to throw a Super Bowl party a few years ago. I went out a bought a new grill and mounted a tv in the kitchen for people who wanted to hang out and snack while watching the game. Had tons of food and beer ready. 30 minutes before kickoff I got a text that the whole group decided to go to someone else’s house and that I should bring all my food and beer over there. Needles to say, I didn’t go, and I haven’t thrown a party at my house since.
Image credits: LordAtchley
#6 OP Thought Friend Was Joking But It Was Actually Abuse
He was physically and psychologically abusing to me for years. It took a long time for me to see that even though he was “joking” it was just flat out abuse.
Image credits: Cleedmastadum
#7 Nobody Came To OP's Father's Funeral
When my father passed NONE of my friends showed up to the funeral. It was an hour and a half away so when they made up excuses not to come I said I understood (I didn't).Surprisingly two of my neighbors that I barely know showed up. I'm friend with them now.
Image credits: quebecesti
#8 Friends Never Reach Out First
They don't contact me at all unless I go out of my way to contact them first. They find any reason to not hang out. They claim we're good friends but it just feels like they just want to be able to say that I'm a friend without doing anything to *be* a friend
Image credits: Nick31415926
#9 Friend Took Everything The OP Did For Granted And Took Advantage Of Them
When I realized that everything I did for them, they totally took for granted and advantage of most of the time. Like going out to eat I would usually pay because I used to make more then her but when she got a better job she still expected me to pay all the time. Nope
Image credits: HonuCentric
#10 Friends Left The Party To Spend The Night At Other Kid's House
An easy answer for me.One year I had a sleepover party with a bunch of childhood friends from the neighborhood as a teen. It was really fun and I invited 15 or so kids, had to convince my parents and spent a ton of money to make it perfect for everyone. We went swimming in the pool, played dodgeball, kickball, had tons of food, had a nerf gun war, played pool, played video games, and watched movies. It was a blast and everyone was clearly enjoying themselves.
Then they tried to watch a horror movie that my parents would [end] me if I saw it, and I objected for a while before reluctantly putting it on. I hated horror movies, too, but I wanted them to have fun. It was like 1 in the morning.
They got bored during the movie and asked if we could all go to the clubhouse (I lived in a gated community with a public clubhouse at the time) to meet up some girls in the middle of the night. I said that my parents would never let it happen and that I didn't want to get caught, so I told them we couldn't go. After that, about 5 of them left at like 2-3 am to go without me. They said they'd be "right back" and that "one of them needed their medicine so they went to get it." Within the hour, everyone was gone except me.
I was crushed, and too embarrassed to tell my parents, so I finally put on the movie *I* wanted to watch before going to sleep. In the morning my parents were furious because over a dozen kids that they had promised their parents would be at their house had disappeared without a traced. Sad and tired me had to call all of them to figure out where they were and let all of their parents know that they didn't spend the night. Even though my parents made me do it, a lot of them got mad at me for that. The worst part by far was figuring out that they had all went to a different kid's house to spend the night after leaving mine.
Image credits: TheSpartanB345T
#11 OP Realised Some Of Their Friend's Caused Them Anxiety
When I was hanging out with my real friends and felt at ease and calm with them.Made me realize that my other friends gave me anxiety.
Image credits: dedeenxo
#12 Friends Turned The Kid Who Vandalized A Car In For $10
Not me, but the kid who vandalized my house and car.After someone threw eggs and rocks at my house, and finished with a rock through my windshield, I left the car parked next to the street with a big poster on it with "Reward for information" on it.
Within hours the kid's friends turned him in for $10 each.
Image credits: mference123
#13 Friend Became Unimportant After Getting A Girlfriend
He ghosted me because he got a girlfriend. I knew it was going to happen, even said so when it happened, but he assured me he wouldn't disappear.It's two months and counting since he last texted me.
Image credits: charenton_
#14 Friends Would Split The Bill In Even Parts And The OP Would Have To Pay Double Or Triple Of What They Should Have
I used to go out for dinner with some college friends.Unlike me, they'd order multiple "call" drinks and *the most expensive* things on the menu.
Then, when the huge bill arrived, they'd say, "Let's just keep it simple and divide it equally." The guys knew I was paying double or triple what I should have, but that didn't seem to bother them.
Image credits: Back2Bach
#15 Friend Was Dumped For Having Mental Health Issues
I opened up to him about my mental health issues, and after a day or two he messaged me saying he couldn't have that kind of negativity in his life. This was literally the first and only time I told anyone about it.
Image credits: [deleted]
#16 Friend Invited OP On A Month-Long Vacation But Never Called Back To Organise The Details
Best friend of nearly 10 years expected me to travel halfway across the world and take a month off from work to stay with her (and her boyfriend) so that we could go to Oktoberfest and maybe do other things. However, when the time came, she refused to make any concrete plans, but still insisted that I apply for a visa and book my tickets anyway. Note that at this stage she hadn’t even confirmed the dates and had not spoken to her boyfriend about the possibility of my staying there for a month. She never initiated the conversation and very rarely answered my texts/calls. At some point I called her out on it, demanded that she show some interest on her part considering how I would be making a significant financial investment if I had decided to go through with the plan. She told me she was busy and that she would call me back. She never did.One day I simply had enough, blocked her on all social media and haven’t talked to her since. All relationships require effort. If people care, they will show you they care.
#17 OP Was Always The One Taking Initiative
when i decided not to be the friend who always organised things and started conversations. i get no contact on the weekends and during the week, i noticed that if i kept quiet in a conversation, they wouldn't even notice i was there
Image credits: s0fia_4
#18 Never Gave Back Money For Tickets
They never paid me back the concert tickets I bought for them
Image credits: nocturnalfetish
#19 Friends Put Rocks In OP's Shoes And Threw Them In The Quarry
When they put rocks in my shoes and threw them in the quarry.
Image credits: dlowwonders
#20 Friend Got OP Drunk And Made It Clear She Hated Them
With friends on a trip to Japan, drinking one night in Roppongi district. I'm trying to taper off, Karen (no, really, it was her name) keeps putting drinks in front of me, paying the bartender for weird shots for me, but not for anyone else in the group. She's saying really catty s**t, but laughing like it's all good fun, we're pals. She starts saying some pointed stuff that makes me think she's been holding on to some really ugly resentment for awhile. After I'm good and sloshed, she pushes me over to my partner and tells him to grab a taxi and take me back. On the way back to the hotel I look at my partner and say, "I didn't realize until now that Karen hates me." He replied, "She sure seems to." Neither the trip nor the friendship was the same after that night, and I had the worse hangover of my entire life, passed out on the floor of a Tokyo hotel bathroom.
Image credits: Flahdagal
#21 Friend Didn't Make Time For OP
He got busy with his own life and I got busy with mine, and as much as I tried to keep in touch, he never did the same. I hear from him once in a blue moon, but whenever I try to make plans, he dodges me. I just finally came to the realization that a friendship isn't worth my time if I'm putting in all the effort and getting absolutely nothing back. It's sad, this is a guy I spent most of my young and teenage years with, practically lived at his house. We spent every waking minute together and had so many awesome times. I guess life just had different paths for us both. I don't begrudge him for anything, I don't think he has intentionally cut me out, I think he's just caught up in his own journey. Maybe one day life will bring us back to the same place and we will spend time together again, but maybe not.
Image credits: JohnOctober
#22 Friends Didn't Invite OP To Call Basketball But Came To Their House To Use The Internet
Our group of around 6 was all out playing basketball except I only found out when I went outside to do errands cuz of how bored I was at home. Not only that but I also heard they came near my place to use our internet to message our other friend to come play with them. That really f****d with me and I never felt the same around them.
Image credits: I________________
#23 Friends Said Them Mocking The OP Was Their Way Of Joking
When I was the constant butt of their jokes, and they were thinly veiled insults that they gaslighted me into thinking I made up or that they were actual jokes made out of love.
Image credits: fatbabyotters_
#24 Friends Would Meat Up Without OP And Formed Couples
I was in a friends group of 11. Really close, hung out alot. Oddly enough, everyone coupled up. I was the only non-couple from the group (my gf wasn't from the pack). Eventually I found out that they met up very often without inviting me and I was just phased out. We had a WhatsApp group but it was quite underutilised.In the end, I just left the group.
Image credits: tpoit778
#25 Friend Sided With Her Boyfriend When OP Told Her He Made Them Uncomfortable
She sided with her boyfriend when I told her he had made jokes about sexual assault which made me uncomfortable, eventually accused me of lying even though she was there when he made them#26 Friend Ghosted OP And They Don't Know The Reason Why
We were friends for almost 10 years. Every once in a while, we'd have small arguments, but always come around and told each other everything.Over a year ago, we went to a party. I didn't drink, but he did. He got extremely moody, wouldn't talk to me and kept disappearing to a room to be alone. Kept brushing me off every time I asked if he was okay. He left the party early without telling me, and I sent him a pissed off text because we had agreed earlier to cab home together.
The next day I call and text. No answer. A week passes. More texts, still no answer. I go to his house. His roommate says he won't speak to me. He deletes and blocks me on all social media. I call and text him more, saying I'm sorry for whatever it is I must have done, still no answer. I message his friends, asking what I could have done and they have no idea, all he's saying is he doesn't want to see me.
At one point I fell into a depression. Am I such an uncaring person that I couldn't even know that I did something wrong? Or was our friendship even that great if he was willing to drop me so suddenly without explanation or goodbye? It's a weird, scary thought when someone who knows more about you than anyone refuses to even speak to you ever again.
It's been over a year and still no word. I went to a party the other day that I heard he'd be at. The host told me that as soon as he heard I was coming, he decided not to come. It's probably one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life.
Image credits: surejan94
#27 Friend Said She Couldn’t Continue Being Friends With Op Because OP Didn’t Need Her
We lived together during our early university years. I was not in a good place when we became friends. A couple years later, I picked myself up, got into really good shape, was accepted into the degree program I wanted and found an extremely awesome job. She said she couldn’t continue being friends with me because I didn’t need her. If you don’t grow together, you grow apart. Years later we were still Facebook “friends”. She deleted me when I got engaged. I noticed and asked her why, she said she didn’t care anymore about anything in my life.It took me a long time to get over that last part. No one needs that in their life.
#28 Friend Didn't Invite OP To Her Wedding But Asked To Help Find A Photographer
It slowly fell apart. She moved to live with her partner and we slowly stopped talking as often until rarely talking at all.I knew I was done when she asked me to help find someone to film her wedding-that I was not invited to.
But she's happy with how her life is and who am I to judge for that?
Image credits: MaineSoxGuy93
#29 Friend Joined A Skinhead Group In High School
He decided to join a skinhead group in high school.#30 Friend Never Grew Out Of Her Vampire Phase And Hissed At OP
She was a psycho. Super controlling and never wanted me to hang out with my other friends.Also never got out of her weird vampire obsession phase. Remember when we were 14 and I said something she didn't like so she bared her teeth at me and hissed. That's when I thought "okay well, this pity party is over."
#31 Friend Talked Behind OP's Back And Wanted Her To Spend The Money She Won Gambling On Her
My husband and I went on vacation with her and her husband. My husband and I did some gambling and won a decent amount of money. They did not gamble at all. When we got back I found out they had told everyone how much of a b***h I was because I had not offered to pay for their half of the vacation with my gambling winnings. When I confronted her she did not deny it. I didn’t want to be friends with someone that thought money played into our friendship or that talked like that behind my back.
Image credits: amelia_egghart217
#32 Nobody Helped With Birthday Preparation When They Came Early
I was planning my birthday party last year and when people showed up early and saw me working, nobody offered to help with anything.
Image credits: anon
#33 Friend Considered The Relationship Shallow
She told me the friendship no longer held value to her and she always viewed it as shallow. Which I found rather ironic considering I was the one that she called when she had suicidal thoughts, she lived with my family after her dad beat her, we Skyped every week for years when I moved away, traveled together, were best friends for almost a decade, created countless memories together, and I told her every secret I had during that time. But apparently it wasn’t the same for her.#34 Friends Never Reached Out After OP Moved Away
None of the people I used to hang out with and see on a regular basis reach out to me after I moved away. The ones that do are all former co-workers. I guess I should have hung out with the people at work more than the people I thought were my friends.
Image credits: anon
#35 Friends Didn't Bother To Invite OP When They Would Meet Up
When you find out that people make plans regularly without you.Most of my friends live a bit of a way away, so sometimes, those who live close together (or with each other) do stuff without me, which is fine, but we also do stuff together on a fairly regular basis. I've had friends who have just not bothered with the second part.
Image credits: anon
#36 Friend Left Because OP Was Still Playing With Dolls
When I was young, it was because my best friend grew out of playing with dolls before I did. All she wanted to do was wear make up, and so she got new friends who all wore make up.It's been twenty years since I saw her last, but I'll never forget that. Young me was heartbroken.
Image credits: [deleted]
#37 Friend Was Egoistic And Aggressive
He wanted everything to be about him and hated when anyone else got attention. He was super agressive and would yell at people for nothing. He was addicted to sports drinks and was always super hyper which only made him or agressive. One time he came over and bullied my brother and punched a wall in anger when I told him to stop. That's where I drew the line and cut him off.He lost a lot of his friends over the years and last I checked he managed a grocery store. Hope you cleaned up your act, Kyle.
#38 Friend Ended The Friendship After He Married A Girl The OP Slept With Before Introducing Them
He broke off the friendship w me because he married a girl I slept with in the past. (I introduced them)from Bored Panda https://bit.ly/3y9atz4
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