Life can be confusing, even hard at times, and not many of us can proudly say that we've managed to figure it out. We're born into this world not knowing anything, and it takes us some time to master the most basic tasks. We're constantly learning and adapting – which naturally leads to a bunch of little slip-ups.
The wonderful thing about mistakes is that everybody makes them; your mother, your next-door neighbor and even the Queen of England. What's important is that we learn a lesson and acknowledge it every time something decides to go wrong.
"Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?" An online user decided to take it to one of Reddit's famous communities to ask 1981 – 1996 babies about the life regrets they have. The post received over 2.6K upvotes and 2.2K worth of comments discussing the harsh reality of our existence.
More info: Reddit
#1 Not Finding Self-Acceptance Earlier
I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the f**k did it take 40 years for self-acceptance?
Image credits: guscallee
#2 Not Living Life To The Fullest
40 already. Born in 81 so I think I just make the millennial cut.Work to live, don’t live to work.
You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice.
Image credits: MrDundee666
#3 Not Saving Up
If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got.
Image credits: PutAForkInHim
#4 Staying Too Long At A Job Because It Was Safe
Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost.
Image credits: Hrekires
#5 Staying Too Long In An Unhappy Marriage
Staying too long in an unhappy marriage. I lost the last half of my 20s and most of my 30s because of it.
Image credits: Zenstation83
#6 Not Spending Enough Time With Their Dad
I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance
Image credits: CharlieChooper
#7 Spending Too Much Money On Avocados
All the damn avocados I bought, I could have gotten a house.
Image credits: Kytti_Korner
#8 Not Getting Healthier
Not getting healthy earlier.
Image credits: zombiearchivist
#9 Settling Down Way Too Early
Getting married at 20 and having kids shortly after. A LOT of people warned me that I was starting too young, but I thought I was the exception. I spent my whole life being told by everyone that I was "mature" for my age. So certainly I wouldn't be a statistic!After years of marriage collapsed into horrible divorce, I realized I wasn't the exception. It's not that my love and desires weren't real, they absolutely were! It's not that I couldn't hack the practical day-to-day tasks of family life, I managed that quite well. The problem is that I was not prepared for how much my partner and I would change as humans in our early 20's. 20 year old me had way more in common with the 15 year old me than the 35 year old me.
If you are under 24(ish) and thinking about marriage, do yourself a favor and wait another year or two. If this is truly the perfect match for the two of you, then you have nothing to lose - that person will still be there. But if you are wrong, and your underdeveloped brain hasn't caught on quite yet, then you will be grateful you waited just a little bit longer.
Image credits: _DiligentState_
#10 Not Using Sunscreen
Not wearing sunscreen.
Image credits: blueboxreddress
#11 Not Taking Care Of Their Back
Take care of your f**king back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that s**t is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week.
Image credits: GuyTallman
#12 Not Resolving Trauma Earlier In Life
I wish I had taken the initiative to resolve my own childhood/developmental trauma much earlier than age 30. I would have had more self-worth in my early relationships, jobs/earning potential and friendships.
Image credits: broccolimountain
#13 Worrying About Running Out Of Time
I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action.
Image credits: tomwaste
#14 Ignoring Red Flags In A Relationship
Not recognizing early red flags for an abusive relationship. It can be tempting to give yourself over to someone showering you with affection after a long dry spell but pay attention to some important details - how long have they known most of their friends? Are they asking you for money really early on, and for something that seems like they should be able to take care of? Bonus point if one or more of their friends brings up money they owe them too. Do your friends seem to like them? How quickly do they start trying to change things about you or make negative comments? I realized 3 months in that this wasn't a good relationship but stayed for another year just because it was comfortable and I wanted someone to be there, not because it was the right person. Fortunately, I was smart enough not to co-sign on anything. Once the wrong person is living with you it can be extremely difficult and stressful to get them out of your house without risking your own safety, especially if you have pets. It can be tempting to move in together quickly, but it's sometimes not worth the risk.
Image credits: SunshineSpectacular
#15 Missing The Wrong Person
Pining after the wrong person
Image credits: runikepisteme
#16 Not Looking After Their Hearing
Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf
Image credits: Kusanagi8811
#17 Not Prioritising Themselves
Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else.
Image credits: lenalily227
#18 Not Buying A House
Should have bought a home. We qualified 20 years ago for enough to buy a small 2 bedroom but I didn't think we could afford it. That 2 bedroom would be worth nearly 3Xs and paid off by now. We pay nearly double in rent what our mortgage would have been. Gotta love the SF bay area cost of living.
Image credits: Thelazywitch
#19 Not Investing In Friendships And Relationships
I moved a lot as a kid and am what is called a third culture kid. I feel at home nowhere.Because of this I also learnt to see friendships and relationships as transactional and didn't maintain them or invest in them.
Because my early life experience is different to those with stable childhoods, I am also really closed. I have learnt to assume I have relatively little in common with others, and no longer bother to even try.
I have effectively become a hermit, am largely friendless, and ended up sacrificing any chance of happiness to take care of an elderly relative.
It is probably too late for me.
Image credits: deleted
#20 Not Listening To Their Body
Try not to get cancer.If you feel unwell go to the dr.
I felt numbness in my fingers and toes. . Let that go for a few months. It turned to arm Pain. Went to the hospital and it turns out I have stage 4 renal carcinoma.
Don’t let any symptoms go unchecked. You’re older, and if your body is telling you something is wrong f**king listen to it.
Image credits: bakedlawyer
#21 Not Asking For More Pay
Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money.
Image credits: SensibleReply
#22 Missing Out On A Trip With Their Grandad
When I was 12-13 my grandfather and I talked about driving from Florida to Alaska over the summer after I got my drivers license.By the time I got my license (17yo) I was too involved with being with my friends/girlfriend and working. Biggest regret if my life not doing that trip. I’m 37 now and think about it from time to time.
Image credits: Thirdstringreddit
#23 Going To University And Majoring In Business
Going to university and majoring in business, numerous poor investments in now defunct companies and businesses and not taking care of my health while younger
Image credits: jawaballs
#24 Suffering From Depression
Wasted my life in deep depression; Still wasting it. Never finished college, never found a stable relationship and just gave up on finding a relationship. Lost the love of my life because of my depression
Image credits: Mtbarnes1
#25 Smoking
Smoking and not dealing with my s**t the right way.
Image credits: Allenrw3
#26 Caring About What Others Think
Listening to other people tell me what they thought I’d be good at instead of doing what I wanted to do/was interested in.Not really approaching 40, but I turn 31 this year, and for the longest time I had issues taking peoples advice too literal and trying my damndest to please everyone else instead of making myself happy.
I wasted 12 years of my life doing this and just floating along before it finally clicked and I went to school for what I do now. I love my job/field, and I beat myself up daily for not doing it sooner and for listening to everyone instead of listening to myself….
#27 Putting Things Off
Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself losing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them.#28 Constantly Chasing Titles
Chasing titles/business cards. I pushed so hard in my late 20s/early 30s to get the biggest job in my company. Then was miserable for 2 years, realistically took a pay cut (commission vs salary), lost any work life balance, had no relationships outside of my work, responsible for 30+ people, and fell completely into violent alcoholism. Relinquished the title, lost the job, took a commission spot at the main competitor. Now I am married, sober, have multiple hobbies, time to visit friends from my childhood, and very little responsibility outside of myself.Now I’m not saying the job I had was horrible, just horrible for ME. My skill set is not designed for office work/politics/policing.
Work makes up a majority of peoples lives, do something you truly enjoy, or at least can tolerate and make work with the outside of work life. There was NEVER a situation where my title or business card was used to any positive effect, however it completely dismantled my life. “Sales” sounds scummy compared to “regional director”, but alcoholic violent loser is also much scummier than where I am today.
Image credits: heylookitscaps
#29 Selling Drugs While They Were In The Army
Selling drugs while I was in the Army. Got me thrown in prison for a couple years. Restarting life and missing a big chunk of your 20s isn't great. 0/10 do not recommend.
Image credits: bstyledevi
#30 Not Holding Onto Their College Friends
When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them.
Image credits: mpssss22
#31 Playing Way Too Many Video Games
Played way too many video games. Thousands of hours every year for 25+ years. It adds up. I feel I could have developed so many useful skills over this period of time.
Image credits: Tooster
#32 Going Back To Graduate School
I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30s. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess.Although honestly? My only real regret/mistake in my life is going back to grad school in 2010. I felt trapped by getting laid off twice and not being able to find any work. I was debt-free, but I really felt forced into going back to school to try and make something of myself. It was either that, become homeless, or figure out how to move back in with my parents. Now I have over 100k in debt because my 60k grad loan has ballooned due to interest rates and forbearance because once again, I couldn't find a decent job upon graduation. Student loans are a f**king racket.
#33 Not Saving Enough For Retirement
Not saving enough for retirement and not going to college. I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years now and have nothing saved for my own retirement. I have a high school degree and cosmetology license but that’s it. If my husband left me I’d be f**ked because I wouldn’t make s**t doing hair(when I quit working I was a manager/stylist and only brought in 50k a year plus hours were awful all nights and weekends not great for a family since there are no night or weekend daycares). At this point, I want to go back to school but not sure how to even do it. It’s also expensive and I need someone to watch the kids. I feel stuck. Wish I’d not gone to cosmetology school and instead got a 4-year degree then I could have kept working when I had kids since I’d have a job that could pay for daycare and had better hours! I guess at least my husband bust his a*s and makes good money and is saving for retirement but I feel like I should be contributing.#34 Not Going To College And Drinking Too Much
Didn't go to college, drank way too much, and didn't believe in myself and wasted away talents that don't come naturally to me anymore.
Image credits: deleted
#35 Regretting Their Divorce
I sometimes oscillate between regretting my divorce and being happy about it. I have a son who is autistic and nonverbal. I also am 40 now and am considered physically unattractive by most men. I know I will be alone for the rest of my life. That was my one shot. I didn't make the greatest choice because I didn't have good options. I chose the safest one, and he left anyway.When I get lonely, I regret it, but when I am in a normal mood, I know I'm in a much better place today.
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