They say there are no stupid questions. Well, that depends on the setting. If it's a classroom full of eager-to-learn minds, then it might be true. But if we're talking about a conversation between two colleagues in front of the coffee machine...
So in an attempt to disprove this old saying, a now-deleted Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share the dumbest things people have asked them. And they succeeded: the comment section was flooded with ridiculous submissions, stemming from ignorance in subjects like geography, religion, and the human body. Continue scrolling to see our hand-picked selection of the funniest ones!
#1
About 25 years ago I was explaining time zones to a 20ish year old intern at a large scientific agency. She wasn't getting it, so i got an orange I brought for lunch and used it as the Earth.Me: Ok, pretend this is the Earth. The sun only shines on one side, so it's day on approximately half at any given time. Now since the Earth rotates (as i spin the orange)...
Intern: So wait. Hold on. So you're saying the Earth is round?
I wish i was joking.
Image credits: zygomelonm
#2
Why are you spying on me?I was working in a call center for Dish Network and a guy called in, very upset. He wanted to know why Dish Network was spying on him. I tried to let him know that we were not in fact spying on him. Which he countered with, "if you are not spying on me then why is there a camera in the damn box?" "Sir, a camera? There is no camera in the receiver" I respond. "Yes there is" he screams "I know there is because I can see everything happening in my room on the TV right now."
I sat there and pondered that statement, trying to figure out what was happening. I asked, "sir, is your TV off right now?" In the background I hear the clear sound of a TV being turned on. I then said, "sir, that is called a reflection. Is there anything else I can help you with?" He hung up.
Image credits: tacsatduck
#3
"If you're an atheist, why don't you go around killing people?" I'm worried now that there are people out there who would just casually kill, but don't because they're scared of hell.
Image credits: thesoundofchange
#4
I used to be a tour guide in a cave and one summer we had a running contest among the guides to see who could get the dumbest question. Keep in mind, we only accepted questions from adults for entry into the contest. Some of the finalists were:"Is this cave underground?"
"Will the stalagmites bite me?"
"Are the steps natural?"
"What time is the 4.30 tour?"
And the winner: "Does the water go all the way around the island?"
Image credits: Common-Bonus
#5
Why do we need farmers when we have supermarkets. Heard this in real life and blew my mind#6
Are you sure that's how you spell your name
Image credits: luckycatty
#7
Is the blue part on a map the sky or the water?
Image credits: thestonez
#8
Before I got married my doctor asked me...Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: yes
Doctor: Are you married?
Me: no
Doctor: Then how can you be sexually active?
Image credits: Cyber_duckie
#9
Someone asked me why I have a dark skinned baby if I'm white and couldn't comprehend how it is possible that my daughter is mixed race
Image credits: [deleted]
#10
one of my best friends came to visit me in the hospital when i had my baby. i was laying there with my newborn and there was a banana on a tray next to the bed. he asked, “has he had lunch yet? is that for him?” everyone in the room just cackled so hard that i almost felt bad
Image credits: Entire-Gazelle-3478
#11
"What's that yellow stuff?"Fire. It was fire.
#12
Repairing the scanner scale at a grocery store. I have the scale out of the checkstand, on it's side, bottom removed from the scale, one of the circuit boards removed from the scale and placed on the conveyor belt, I have JUST removed the board that the spinner part connects to (that spinning mirror thing in the bottom of the scanner scale), and someone walks up to the checkstand, places items onto the conveyor and asks "Are you open?"I should be allowed to throw things at people this dumb.
Image credits: GreatJanitor
#13
“Do the chicken lettuce wraps have chicken in them?”
Image credits: TheSalty
#14
Working on a tourist sightseeing boat on the ocean in Alaska. Person asks me what elevation we are at. I look down at the ocean and back to them and say, about 10 feet#15
After trying to pull my hair off:Stranger: It's not a wig!?
Me: Uhhh no, it's my hair
Stranger: I thought maybe it was a wig because of cancer or something.
Image credits: pm_pic_of_spiderman
#16
Why does apple juice taste like apples?
Image credits: yashasangel
#17
"Continents would float away if they weren't anchored down, right?"Edit: This was asked by an 18 y/o girl in a top-level secondary school.
Image credits: mysterybiscuit
#18
Holding my cat while outside. “Is that a cat?” “Why yes, yes it is”
Image credits: Tunapizzacat
#19
A lady asked if the bubble lights on the Christmas tree were "filled with colored champagne."
Image credits: Back2Bach
#20
“Is that your baby?” I was breastfeeding at the time.#21
Was in a maternity class with my wife. One of the husbands was an endless source of amazing comments. My favorite was while on the topic of breastfeeding. “So do you just poke holes in them or what?” There was a very long, very shocked pause from the instructor before she explained it to him.#22
”Why don’t they schedule New Year’s Eve so that it’ll always be on a Monday?”
Image credits: wallyballou55
#23
This is second hand from a diving guide in Bermuda: "how far do you have to dive to get under the island?"#24
How my son was conceived. I'm in a wheelchair.#25
In retail "Where is the paint in this stupid store? I was sent down here and they lied! " "Right behind you (literally dozens of paint cans 8 feet behind her) " "No they're not!" I walk past her and put my hand on the can, took her a good 10 seconds of ranting to accept the paint was infact there.#26
Once my mom had to have part of a lung removed due to cancer. Afterwards, the doctor showed us the imaging that showed the remaining cancer spread through the rest of her lungs, which we already knew about. My dad asked him why they didn't remove all of her lungs.#27
Is Thailand in alaska.#28
"Where does wood come from?"This person was 19
#29
What can I take for internal bleeding?Answer: Hospital man. We’re just a f*cking pharmacy, not a trauma unit.
#30
A cocktail server that I’m training: “is there vodka in a rum and Coke?”#31
Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know Jane?#32
I had the neighbors by for a quick chat a few years ago, and we happened to be standing by our goat pen, we had three at the time. For whatever reason, people don't really see goats as pets, and I'm often asked about their purpose, are they meat, etc.Well, this guy asked if I milked them. I explained that they're all retired breeding males.
He followed that up by asking again if we milk them, and was so affronted by the look I could not help giving him that he left in a huff. I didn't mean to be rude, but I definitely looked at him as if he were an idiot and he was smart enough, at least, to figure that out.
#33
I was having a disagreement with a customer in the workplace. At one point she said “why would I be arguing with you if I was wrong?”.I mean….what do you say after that?
#34
Context I’m a lesbian:So do you like get turned on looking in a mirror?
Image credits: chubbybunnybean
#35
"Do African Americans come from Africa America?"
Image credits: MaximSouls
#36
After seeing me constantly reading on break, a manager at Walmart asked if I was illiterate. (An ICS employee made a mistake which cost the store money and blamed it on me.) I glared at the manager and asked if they were an idiot, I read all the f*cking time! Needless to say, that company is not on good terms with me, nor I with them.
Image credits: yitekel422
#37
“Who is the man and who is the woman”in regards to a relationship between two gay men.
Image credits: Hasenpfeffer
#38
“What was it like to grow up in a third world country?” My step grandmother the first time I met her after moving to the the US from Canada...#39
A friend of a friend found out during a party that I was serving in the US Army Reserve asked me if I had ever killed anyone.Sigh
No, I'm not combat arms and I've never even deployed.
Seriously stop asking ANY service member this stupid ass question unless you want a stupid ass answer back.
Image credits: xerif3743
#40
Whilst being a tourist in the colloseum in Rome, I once heard an adult tourist ask "Is this where Jesus fought the lions?"#41
I'm half Inuit. In 6th grade I did a social studies project on Inuit people/lifestyles. During my presentation, I brought up the fact that I'm half Inuit and pointed out different things my grandmother was teaching me. A boy in the class the goes "how can you be an indian?? I thought they were like.. extinct"#42
Once had an intern ask what a battery was, after someone asked her to pass them two batteries.#43
I have been asked and witnessed stupid questions but I am struggling to think of a good gem.All I can remember is, "how does the paper get to the other fax machine?"
I tried explaining fax machines merely scan a copy and the image travels through wires and it prints a copy but they weren't getting it.
Another one, a girl was offering me soy sauce and I reminded her I am allergic to soy. "Oh. There's soy in soy sauce?"
#44
Someone asked me if there were peanuts in the peanut butter cheesecake. She said her boyfriend was allergic and she was trying to get him dessert#45
Once when I was in a tech support group I literally had a guy email me and ask for my email address.#46
( work with animals professionally) A woman was taking her dog to see the vet because when they drank water the fur around their face became darker and they were *very* worried about it."Is it dangerous? Can it hurt her?"
"No. Have you never noticed that your daughter's hair gets darker when you wash it...?"
#47
I worked at an ice cream store and someone came in, looked at the ice cream cone I was handing to someone then looked at me and asked "what kind of soups do you have"#48
What happens if the contact lens falls behind your eye and into your bloodstream -- oh, wait.. blood would go through it because it's clear, right?This person was not high, drunk while very kind, they were easily the most air-headed person I've ever known. That quote was over 25 years ago and I've never forgotten it.
#49
How many third cups are in a cup … She worked in a bakery.#50
My surname is also a first name. My friend once asked me how to spell it because she needed to write our classmate's name (the first name version) on our project, and once I spelt it, she was like 'are you sure?' Yes you numpty.I also have a cousin with that first name (different surname obviously). He was spelling it for me (he was telling me his email) and I was like 'I'm gonna stop you there mate
#51
“What’s Shakespeare’s surname??”#52
"Do you work here?"No, ma'am, I just... felt like stealing a work vest and working this shoe pallet for giggles.
Image credits: kannakantplay
#53
“Are you ok” many many many people asked me this after my partner died on the worst day of my life. My reply “no I’m not f*cking ok”
Image credits: rchoiniere94
#54
"Why'd you go all the way to Spain to learn Mexican?"#55
"Do they use skeleton keys to unlock cemetery gates and mausoleum doors?"#56
Why can’t I download more battery?#57
“Can you cut this open for me?”It was a watermelon.
I was working in a fresh meat cutting department, covered in at least 3 different kinds of animal blood, and we had a bigass window that CLEARLY shows there’s blood on everything.
Image credits: Gary-F*ckin-Oak
#58
Is meat considered a vegetable? She realised quickly and facepalmed so hard it left a mark#59
On the highway looking at a car that stopped on side laneMe: oh look that guy Has a flat tire damn.
My cousin: dude the tire is only flat on one side he can still drive wtf
I thought he was joking but he genuinely didn‘t realise what he said.
He was 15 at the time...
Image credits: MassiveKonkeyDong
#60
i had a goth/emo phase in 8th grade and was asked what gothic people ate for dinner lol
Image credits: [deleted]
#61
Regarding socks: "How many are in a pair?"#62
When people notice one of my tattoos "You know they are permanent Right?" Like sh*t I had no idea, if only I had known you before I got it#63
My high school honors English teacher had a full on argument with me about how I spell my name and whether it was cultural appropriation for me to spell it that way."My name was a Native American word, despite me being whiter then wonder bread. My parents thought they were just being creative with the spelling of an extremely popular girls name at the time of naming me, found out when I was 3 or 4 that it was the word for 'turtle' in a Lakota Sioux.
I changed my name last fall so there's less arguments but people are still weird.
Image credits: KeyKitty
#64
"Is that the sun?"It was after 10pm and, just in case you're still wondering, no, no it wasn't.
#65
That I can't have a baby because I don't have a belly button#66
I kid you not someone said “is a bird a gas?”#67
"Does ground beef come from the ground?" Molly G in Mr Ballesterros' Freshmen Spanish class circa 2007ish at SHS in Phoenix Az. Nobody forgets anything Molly!#68
Do you think cats think in meows?#69
I’m a twin & have been asked how old my sister is after revealing my age (or vice versa)#70
Told a girl I was starting college in the fall and she asked if I was going to "Campus". She had heard the word used and thought it was the name of a college.#71
Why haven't you got a boyfriend?#72
Parent asking me - “is the zero on my kid’s progress report mean he didn’t do it? What does “missing assignment” mean?#73
"Oh my god, Julius Caesar was stabbed to death?"Asked by my mom who also tried to argue with me because she doesn't believe that the Sun is a star.
#74
Are moths made of dust...#75
I use to work in a grocery store.People would legitimately ask me “ where’s the juice aisle? “ while we are in the aisle with the juice
Image credits: Kriimz_
#76
"Why are you chinese looking?" I am Russian
Image credits: FrickerSpirits
#77
My friend once asked me how many beers were in a 6-pack.. I was speechless#78
How it was possible that my husband and I had different last names. A doctor asked me this.#79
"Are you left handed?"Only after the person asking has watched me write with my left hand.
#80
When we (my family) moved from South Carolina to Ireland someone asked “are you gonna drive there?”#81
I'm in IT management. Where do I even begin?"There's an error on the screen that says I need to restart to complete the update, what should I do?"
#82
If my birthday was always on Mother’s Day#83
"Where's the escalator?" asked by someone who was directly in front of the escalator and had walked past it three times. I was very nice when I just pointed.#84
Someone texted me what the time was#85
'Did you visit the Chinatown?' after I told a friend that I had been to China as part of a business trip#86
My younger brother (age 12) came up to me and asked, “is there a talking donkey in the bathroom?”To this day, I have no idea how to respond.
#87
"Is chicken a type of beef?" To be fair the kid was 9. It still resonates in my head when I think of dumb questions tho...so yeah#88
How old where you when you were young?#89
“Oh you wear glasses?”They say while looking at me wear glasses...
#90
"Did you draw that?"While I have a drawing in front of me, pencil in hand
#91
"Why do you have anxiety?"#92
this girl took my skateboard, just stood on it and asked me "Why isn't it going?"#93
When taking my MIL for a spin in my new Tesla: “how is this thing on gas?”#94
Is the internet male or female?#95
“Do you think the strongest man in the world can lift the titanic?”This sounds like a cheesy answer to be funny, but I swear on everything good in this world this was a real question a kid in my high school asked his mom. Supposedly she just responded “you’re grounded” but that part could be made up. I like to Think it’s not.
#96
“How much do you cost?”#97
Does chocolate milk come from brown cows?#98
“How much is this?”I was in a Dollar Tree.
#99
Are you sleeping ?#100
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