The creative prowess of a writer, or a jokester, in this case, shines through the most when concentrated in the least possible words. Be that as it may, if you want to read a joke, it is not a novel you are looking for but rather a quick comedic relief. And, to use as few words as possible and still be cheek-splittingly hilarious is both a talent and a calling, combined with years of writing practice (or just pure luck). So, yes, indeed, we just had to gather those itty bitty whimsies, put them all in one list, and present you with what is known as the best one-liner jokes known to humankind. And it is going to be good!
A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is, if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Another thing with these one-line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. He always has a hilarious and laconic quip after disposing of his enemies. In fact, probably no other joke but the one-liner is forever at the top of the popularity Everest, being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately, funny. Thus, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to present you with our choices of the best jokes that fall under this category; our hopes are pretty high to entertain you with this one!
So now, it is precisely time that you scroll on down below to check out the clever jokes that we’ve found! From punny ones to funny, and, of course, straight up corny, there’s a joke for absolutely anyone here. And, after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn’t find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section.
#1
Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.#2
The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.#3
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.#4
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.#5
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.#6
I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.#7
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.#8
The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.#9
250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.#10
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.#11
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.#12
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.#13
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.#14
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.#15
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.#16
So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.#17
Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.#18
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.#19
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.#20
Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’#21
The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.#22
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.#23
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.#24
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.#25
The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.#26
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.#27
I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.#28
"You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace."#29
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.#30
I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.#31
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.#32
Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.#33
A blind man walked into a bar… And a table… And a chair…#34
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.#35
Is your bottom jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouth?#36
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.#37
I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.#38
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."#39
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.#40
What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.#41
R.I.P. boiled water. You will be mist.#42
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.#43
A perfectionist walked into a bar... Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.#44
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.#45
What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street?A large fortune.
#46
Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors?#47
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.#48
Have you heard about the new restaurant called ‘Karma?’ There’s no menu — you get what you deserve.#49
A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.#50
Pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants.#51
My IQ test results came back. They were negative.#52
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.#53
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.#54
What if there were no hypothetical questions?#55
If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?#56
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.#57
I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels.#58
A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’#59
I threw a boomerang a couple years ago. I now live in constant fear.#60
Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.#61
Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.#62
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.#63
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?#64
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.#65
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?#66
I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’#67
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.#68
Two wifi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.#69
What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.#70
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.#71
I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.#72
Never trust atoms - they make up everything.#73
My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.#74
I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.#75
I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society. I spilled the beans.#76
I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.#77
I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘Watch for children,’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.’#78
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.#79
Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.#80
At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Elementary.#81
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare line.#82
Did Noah include termites on the ark?#83
Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.#84
A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”#85
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.#86
People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.#87
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.#88
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.#89
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.#90
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.#91
My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’#92
A book fell on my head the other day. I only have my shelf to blame though.#93
Our child has a great deal of willpower — and even more won’t power.#94
Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a little more space.#95
The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long.#96
If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?#97
I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.#98
"Some people just have a way with words, and other people… Oh… Not have way."#99
"Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is 'Good for you!'”#100
Blunt pencils are really pointless.#101
Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.#102
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.#103
I went to a seafood disco last week, but ended up pulling a mussel.#104
I never knew what happiness was until I got married — and then it was too late.#105
They’ve been treating me like one of the family, and I’ve put up with it for as long as I can.#106
What do you call a steak that’s been knighted by the queen? Sir Loin.#107
What do you call a guy who’s had too much to drink? A cab.#108
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was stuffed.#109
My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly… I’m not a fan.#110
Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it in a remote location.#111
I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once until now.#112
"Just realized a pregnant dog is a dog full of puppies. That’s the best."#113
I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.#114
If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?#115
Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name.#116
Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics.#117
"A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times."#118
"I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos."#119
"Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside."#120
A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and mean your mother.#121
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.#122
I used to believe that all things must pass — until I got stuck behind a school bus.#123
“Next time I send a damn fool, I go myself.”#124
‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank.#125
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.#126
What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.#127
"Drama: a word boring people use to describe fun people."#128
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.#129
Have you played the updated kids' game? I Spy With My Little Eye... Phone.#130
"All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity."#131
What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.from Bored Panda https://bit.ly/3hbkHqK
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