Despite all the less than savory aspects of humankind and the prejudices we hold, there’s still hope for us, I feel. People can change and, sometimes, they change for the better. And that’s a dollop of light and magic in these dark and uncertain times.
Former racists opened up about what made them change their ways in a thread on r/AskReddit, and their stories give an important glimpse into how nobody’s ever beyond redemption. Scroll down to read their stories. When you’re done, let us know in the comments if you know anyone who has ever renounced their racist mindset in a similar fashion and why, dear Pandas.
I reached out to redditor u/Gamerbrineofficial, the author of the r/AskReddit thread, to get their opinion. They were kind enough to answer my questions. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with them.
#1
My parents were both closet racists (racist behind closed door/out of earshot) but we were taught other races couldn't be trusted as kids. I can remember my mum deliberately not inviting a Pakistani kid to a birthday party that sort of thing.I was stereotypical angry white kid, around 15yo I started listening to Eminem that progressed into black artists I heard him duet with.
I genuinely give credit to rap music for making me realise my parents were wrong. Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Kanye and 50cent opened me up to a different path in life which ended me up with a Japanese partner so all's well that ends well.
Image credits: butwhywouldit
The author of the r/AskReddit thread, u/Gamerbrineofficial, told Bored Pand about the inspiration behind the question that they asked. "I had just watched a YouTube video about an ex-Nazi and a Jewish person talking about their lives when I got the idea for the post," they shared with Bored Panda what got them thinking about life.
The redditor believes that exposing ourselves to new cultural experiences, whether through volunteering, travel, or other ways, can help make us more accepting of other people. "I think by embracing other races and cultures as human, we can work towards a better world."
#2
My father's side was very racist, but it was a black neighbor who helped feed us when we were very poor.As I got older, I realized she didn't even like us very much, but she was a mom who hated seeing hungry kids. That had a profound effect on me when I was small. How could black people be bad if they were giving us food? I decided my father was wrong at around age six.
Saddest part, I don't even remember her name. I wish I could thank her.
Image credits: Aayin
#3
I met a holocaust survivor. He was a child at the camp in Sobibor. It was a life changing experience. Without it, I’d probably have ended up being part of the alt-right. Instead, I got a real wake up call and have taken to being a major supporter or human rights.
Image credits: QuadCannon
I also wanted to get the redditor's opinion about modern-day racism. "I agree racism is alive in the 21st century (unfortunately) and has been alive since other races first started interacting with one another," they told Bored Panda. Despite the fact that there are people fighting for more tolerance in the world, u/Gamerbrineofficial doesn't believe that racism can ever be fully eradicated. "I do not think, sadly, that racism will ever be fully gone from the human race. It is a sad reality that there will always be hateful people in the world."
Previously, I spoke about accepting everyone, no matter our differences, with award-winning human rights activist and writer, Elizabeth Artif-Fear. She told Bored Panda that at the core of acceptance lie empathy, communication, listening, dialogues, and compassion. We have to strive to expand our social circles and move out of our own echo chambers and comfort boxes.
"It's important to meet, socialize, work with and get to know people from a variety of different backgrounds—people from different ethnic backgrounds, age groups, faith traditions, nationalities, etc. This helps us to learn about different views, beliefs, experiences, and values,” she said.
#4
A lot of my old racist tendencies were subtly taught through culture and peers. I didn't start changing until I finally realized what Dr. Martin Luther King meant in his speech: don't judge people by the things they had no choice over, judge them by the choices they make.It's never somebody's choice to be born black, asian, middle eastern, Hispanic, gay, bisexual, or transexual. It's totally somebody's choice to want to see them wiped from the face of the Earth.
Image credits: JoakimSpinglefarb
#5
I was skinhead adjacent during high school. It offered me identity and a sense of belonging and purpose. Started becoming more extreme, identifying more with the idea of white oppression by “the Jews”. Then I had this sudden realization that my best friend was a Jew. And his family offered me more acceptance and belonging than I’d ever find in the movement. It was an amazing aha moment. To think that I was teaching myself to hate the people who showed me the most love was a little heartbreaking but it was an important moment in my life. I’ve never looked back.
Image credits: I_been_some_places
#6
Not me, but my dad was quite racist to the local native group. My dad was a woodsman and felt the native land agreements were unfair, and didn't agree with their hunting and fishing rights/treaties.At age 18 during my last year of highschool I was doing a lot of community volunteer work and my dad helped out managing a youth program with me. The parent group above us arranged for an event at the local reserve.
My dad begrudgingly went with me to the event to supervise the younger kids.
It was a transformative experience for him. We were invited to take part in a drum circle, did a bunch of ice breaker activities, listened to talks, met elders, and were served amazing food.
The band gave my dad a t-shirt and he proudly wore it so often after that, someone actually asked him if he was native. (he does have darker skin colouring from being outside but is still as white as they come)
Now my dad speaks out a lot against racism directed at native/indigenous folks. He's become very passionate.
On the one hand I'm really glad he improved but on the other I think it's sad he needed a personal experience of such magnitude to have empathy. It places the burden on THEM to educate US. But I suppose it's still better than him being racist the rest of his life.
Image credits: HFXmer
According to the human rights activist, volunteering and travel are two ways that can help us learn more about the world and how different people live.
“That's why initiatives in our local area such as volunteer projects, inter-community groups, interfaith projects, and social/youth clubs which enable us to meet as many different people as possible are so important. Authentic travel is also important but not affordable or accessible to everyone. Funded schemes, fellowships, and intercultural exchange programs may offer more affordable and accessible ways to engage," she told Bored Panda.
#7
My story is a bit different from the others here. I was a skinhead since I was a kid..about 13. We ran in a gang and listened to both racial music and also nonracial music. We were a bit mouthy etc about race, but the place we grew up in was totally white. There was one Chinese lass out our whole school..about 1,200 people. It didn't take me too long to realize that the "they took our jobs" talk was a load of s**te as there were no ethnic people..and no jobs. So I did grow out of the racist thing myself pretty quickly.It was only really when I went to university that I actually encountered different races. I got to work beside black and Asian guys, played football with Africans and Greeks and generally had a great time and met great people who I still keep in contact with. I think even though I didn't consider myself racist..I couldn't imagine me having black friends..or going on holiday with a group that included several Muslims, which I did do a couple of years back.
Wee funny story before I end about prejudices. I went to live in another city, and was just myself..talk to anyone. One night I got a cab. The driver was a Muslim in full Pakistani cultural gear. Skull cap, long gown etc. I thought, people are people and have the right to do or dress how they want, but I don't think we are going to have a lot o talk about, not much common ground. I gave him my address and sat back to chill out.
Guy turns round..you a Scot? I said yeah mate. Then he starts chatting about when he first came to England in the 60s before the majority of Pakistanis, he used to get picked on at school. The other guys who were picked on were Scots and Irish. So they formed a gang of the eight of them. From that day they could go watch football, go out at night, and generally stick up for each other. He said, that was a long time ago, and I still get a shiver when I hear Scots or Irish accents. Now he teaches kids at the mosque not to dislike white christians, and the best ways to mix and interact. We sat for 20 minutes when we arrived at my house and just shot the breeze.
I think that's when the last bit of bigotry left me.
Image credits: Allydarvel
#8
I met, fell in love with, and married a black woman. I was extremely ignorant and did not believe there was a race problem in this country. Then again I grew up with an extremely comfortable privileged life. Then once I started getting the same looks and stares and comments from being with her, yeah trust me it’s a huge problem.
Image credits: BojanglesWarrior
#9
My friend was an on again off again Trumper last year and kept posting about how "hero" Luke Skywalker and a few of us told him Luke literally had a school of jedi of all different races and backgrounds and sexes, you root for him as a fictional character but support the Emperor of real life and he got real quiet.
Image credits: Bark4Soul
"If we only ever meet, see, and talk with people of exactly the same backgrounds we miss out on the varied nuanced diverse experiences of life. In such a context, we can't work to understand other people's needs, wants, views and experiences as best as possible. We're all neighbors and our diversity should be celebrated,” Elizabeth said.
“Learn a new language, volunteer at a non-profit organization supporting people from different backgrounds, and go out there and meet people and visit places (when safe to do so!)," she suggested some ways in which anyone can broaden their minds.
#10
I used to be pretty racist. I would say things like “I’m not racist, I just think black Americans have a culture problem”, or “I’m not racist but why don’t they listen to cops?” Just things like that. Like always making excuses for the oppressors but never allowing a single excuse for the oppressed.What got me out of it was just working in retail and being exposed to other people and ideas. I learned to put people first. Put people above culture, put people above tradition, put people above current systems. If you do that, really learn to value human life, you will end up a progressive every single time
Image credits: excusetheblood
#11
Being born in a brown family you'd think there's nothing to be racist about. I mean, we're already of colour who are we racist about? Well, you're wrong. Brown parents are racist of every other race. Black, Asian and even white people (yes, that's also racism as it is discrimination because of colour). So as children of brown parents we're also brought up thinking that any other race is bad, for whatever reason. (Not only colour but brown parents also discriminate because of religion, just wanted to add)Anyways, in highschool I had a few friends who were a little darker in colour than the rest of us and my parents told me to stay away from them. But they were genuinely nicer than many other fake friends (it's highschool) so I liked hanging out with them. That's when I realized that it was a genuine wrong thinking and also that this will always be normal in my brown household so I chose to move to another country. I mean, there were many other reasons for me to get to this decision
Image credits: bdum_tss
#12
I fell hard for a guy of color. Made me question everything - every thought I ever had. And while it didn’t work out I’m forever grateful for him and his compassion and patience.
Image credits: ExerciseLocal5248
#13
I was raised in a close family setting and didn’t have many friends. Went to school but never really did anything. Made good grades. Dropped out 9th grade really went full on conservative and racist. I mean my whole family still is so it was just casual talk for us.Then I went to college, met a lot of people, did a lot of finding myself. I knew I was a lesbian years ago when I was 18. But when I was in my late 20s early 30s I went to college and really found myself. Realized that’s not how I wanted to live. I was socialized with lots of people from lots of different backgrounds and lots of new perspectives. And found out that within myself I was an angry person due to my past traumas and didn’t like that part of me. And almost changed overnight. I don’t laugh at my families racist jokes anymore, I don’t hang out with them much unless they come to my house, I’ve moved past it and have grown up and matured.
I’m not perfect but I’m no longer a racist. And I no longer blindly say all cops are good. Husband and I argue quite a bit over that. He was a police dispatcher for 20 years. He sees the bad ones but says it’s only a few. And in recent years we’ve both realized it’s more than just a few.
Image credits: Rubicon2020
#14
Little nervous posting this, ngl. I served Marine infantry for four years and deployed to the middle east. I got out about 6 years ago and idk if racist is the right to describe me then, but its pretty close. I hated everyone from the middle east. Didn't matter religion, age, gender - I hated all of them. If they were born in the US, I had no feelings against them, which is why idk if its racism or "regionalism" or something. Maybe I'm trying to shift blame, but I feel like it was not all my fault. We were trained to not think of them as people, and seeing them in country wounding and killing my fellow Americans really had a way of warping my opinion.I got out of it by growing up and experiencing diverse cultures in college. The world is a huge place. If I can go out of state to this university and meet people from other states, other countries...they are good people from places I've never heard of. It just makes sense that there must be good people in the middle east as well. It took a few years of softening up, but the hatred wore off. I look back and im at least a little disgusted with myself. I never acted out against someone or committed a hate crime. It simply wasn't fair of me to think the way I did. But tbh a lot of things aren't fair to a poor boy from the middle of a flyover state fighting in a war. I'm glad I changed. I'm not glad I was ever that hateful in the first place. Its not one of those "im glad I experienced it so I could grow" situations. It was just bad.
Image credits: Adam_is_Nutz
#15
This isn’t a former racist thing, but I realized early on that color isn’t “only skin deep.” If you grew up in the late ‘80s and ‘90s this was a thing people said. Color is only skin deep. My friend cut his knee in gym class and it started bleeding. After they got it all cleaned up I saw that his skin color only went down like 1/16 of an inch. It’s only a couple layers of your skin. Under that he was as white as me. So yeah, that’s when I realized we’re all the same color under the first couple layers of skin. It isn’t skin-deep, it’s just the outer part of the skin.
Image credits: Ramii83
#16
This story is difficult to share. I am typing this at the request of my son.I was raised as a racist. We lived in Southern California near a lot of minorities. My father was a union leader and I think his hatred of minorities came from his job, because the union was mostly white guys and they saw the minorities as trying to take their jobs. Whenever we would drive around and see them in the street, my dad would always point them out and talk s**t about them.
I grew up and had kids of my own. I was doing the same thing to them without realizing it. One day I came home and caught my 14 year old daughter screwing around with a black kid. I threw him out of my house and beat him in my driveway. The cops were called and I went to prison for assault. In prison, I saw how ethnically divided everything was, but my counselor was the one who basically shook me out of it. She helped me realize that continuing this hatred would really only hurt my own life. I tried to avoid the racial groups in my prison. I stayed on my own and earned my GED. In my classes I met a lot of minorities who had also never graduated high school. I listened to my counselor and got to know them and realized what a hard life they had. Before, I thought that they were just lazy and sold drugs for easy money. We went through a lot of the same struggles in our education.
When I got out, I started a construction company. I make an effort to hire both former cons and also minorities. I am trying to make up for the kind of things I have done in the past.
Image credits: erhywerhwer5hw
#17
Growing up I was told that all the woes of my state were caused by those ( ethnic slur)s. We would drive through the poor area of town and it would be pointed out to me that " they make everything worse. they are like cockroaches". Something about these claims just didn't sit right with me and when I was old enough to look things up online I realized everything I was told was truth was just regurgitated Fox News. The more I looked things up, the more lies I saw. Nobody would listen to me when I tried to show them. I think they know deep down, but racism is an easy scapegoat for the world's problems.
Image credits: 20MinToFindUsername
#18
Travelling. To actually experience the culture of other people is a brutal eye-opener.
Image credits: onion4tears
#19
Lets pretend you’ve never seen a platypus. But you’ve heard about them. You’ve heard that they have a bill and webbed feet. You’ve heard that they lay eggs. You’ve heard that they have a tail like a beaver. But you, yourself, have never seen one. You take for granted that these things are true because EVERYONE around you says they are.I grew up in a super tiny farm town in the middle of nowhere. All 300 people in the town were white. My parents were racist. My friends were racist. My friend’s parents were racists. Even the vast majority of teachers in our k-12 school grew up in or around my town, and were racist. Guess what? With literally every single person around me telling me that black people were inferior, i thought black people were inferior. I took for granted that it was true, because it seemed unlikely that EVERYONE was wrong. Just like I currently take for granted that a platypus lays eggs.
When I was 10 I went to a summer camp a few hours north of me. There were black, hispanic, and asian kids there. Hell, I even shared a cabin with a black kid. I honestly thought I would get attacked at night. By the end of the third day of camp, I realized that other than talking a bit different, my black cabinmate was no different than my white cabinmates. And the talking a bit different thing didn’t bother me. I had family from other parts of the US that talked different from me, and it didn’t matter much.
This started a slow but steady realization in me that maybe my parents were wrong about things, and maybe people were just people. I’d like to think that I treat everyone with the same level of respect today. I sincerely hope I do, anyway.
Still not sure about platypus though
Image credits: awesomecubed
#20
I come from a non-practicing Christian background and grew up in a small town where everyone was white as well. Though I never personally experienced outwardly racist sentiments from my family, I did not personally meet someone with different skin color than mine until I was 19. That's 19 years of development and never personally interacting with someone of a visibly different race. There was 1 black family that moved to my town when I was about 11 and I found out years later they sadly had to move due to racism. I'm sure that was very isolating for them. Thanks to a weird, archaic, low-tech device called a 'television' I was exposed to African Americans by way of Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and 21 Jumpstreet. Carl Otis Winslow's outbursts cracked me up. I never much cared for Urkel and his antics, Carl was my 'average dad next-door' hero. Theo Huxtable was an early tv crush, and as I got a little older, I adored Judy Hoffs! She was the coolest cop chick on tv and wanted to hang out with her at that modified church headquarters. I still watch the show just for her character, and to recognize filming locations and scenic backdrops from Vancouver. Not to mention some of my favorite vocalists are Mixed Race/African American/Jamaican or from the Bahamas. Through the entertainment I consumed, I just accepted that there are people out there, vastly different than myself that I was always curious about them. I just always assumed people who weren't having vile racist poison poured down their gullets and had access to cable, movies, and MTV would experience different people the same way. It's nice to know there's hope for people to come out of that. I'd like to believe that racism, is one small jagged fragment of the human condition that has never taken hold in my mind and I hope it never does.
Image credits: AwkwardRadish3820
#21
I was 1 of 3 native people in a school with 300 people. I was harassed daily, got called a chug, squaw, dirty Indian and was told to go back to my rez. I've had food, bottles and other things thrown at me. My cellphone was stolen and smashed days after my parents saved up to buy me my own. Girls would try and physically fight me for no other reason than that I didn't look like them.By the end of highschool I HATED white people. I thought they all hated me so it would be fine if I expressed the same kind of resentment and anger, even towards strangers who hadn't done anything wrong.
All it took to change my mind, was a trip to a national park with my dog. People were so friendly and kind. I couldn't believe it, people from all of the world were interacting with me and my dog. I was receiving nothing but kindness and love, especially from white people and children who wanted to pet my dog. That's all it took, was a dog to undo years of my racism towards white people. Surely if my dog could love any human he encountered, why couldn't I?
Image credits: OliveJuiceYou
#22
I grew up in Utah County, UT. I am white, male, and Mormon. My father was from San Diego at a time when a lot of immigrants started to flock to California. He use to tell me the stories of the stupid black guys in the job corps, the Mexicans that were taking good jobs and the gays grooming young men in LA and turning them gay.The fathers in Mormon families are the end all be all of the knowledge. How could I ever think differently? I had very racist and homophobic thoughts And POV up until 2007ish and changed my whole POV when the prop 8 issues came up.
No, I didn’t sit there and chant white power but I really did think that being a white male in Utah made me better than everyone else who wasn’t.
Seeing how s**tty the true belief’s of the Mormon church coupled with real empathy made me never want to be like my dad to his core.
It makes no sense to me when we are all human dealing with being human. I hate that I have an advantage because I was born white. I can’t change it but I can try and show anyone I come in contact with that it shouldn’t matter what color anyone is. I can’t change anyone but I can show people you can be different and just care about everyone.
Image credits: Phunny
#23
I was a lower case r racist growing up. Not a cross burner or anything like that, but I had biases, I made tons of jokes and comments, and as shallow as this sounds I wouldn't even watch porn if it featured anyone of color.what broke it for me was my early adult life. I worked s**t jobs and dealt with occasional homelessness. I ended up having to spend time with people of color. A lot of it.
It's hard to stay angry and bitter when you work with people for years, alone with them for hours at a time every night. You find common ground even if you try and fight it.
It starts with overhearing them talk about s**t you like too, smelling their dinner while they're on break and going "damn that smells delicious.", seeing s**t in the newspapers and hearing them express similar feelings.
No matter how much you try and dehumanize them, you just can't fight the eventual realization that they're just like you, with maybe a few quirky differences.
Image credits: reddit
#24
Leaving home. My mom is Japanese and raised me Japanese, racism and all. I left my house late 17y/o and now that I’ve lived on my own, I grew to be myself, and with that, grew up mentally.
Image credits: reddit
#25
I realized that I didn’t dislike black people for being black...I disliked pretty much everyone regardless of color. Just lived in a s**tty area and everyone was s**tty. Left and everything got better.
Image credits: makenzie71
#26
Wasn't racist, just ignorant.Small town of only white folk, every town over same thing. The only things I knew about other cultures and races was from movies (life before the internet).
Turns out movies grossly exaggerate things. Not all black guys are in gangs. Not all Indian guys run convenience stores. Not all Asians are matheletes. But you would never know otherwise. When I first moved to a city and meet diversity, I definitely embarrassed myself a few times and admittedly, was cautious around certain minorities for no reason.
Now I love exploring different cultures. Their food and customs and all that jazz is neat and some of my good friend are all sorts of nationalities.
Image credits: mydogisamy
#27
I started a construction job. Hispanics are some of the nicest, funniest people you’ll ever meet. The language barrier even adds to the hilarity. It was an eye opener that these guys are just trying to make a living and go home, just like me. Landing this job has changed my view on ALL races and I’m very happy it did. You can’t just HATE someone for their distance from the equator.
Image credits: Masterblaster2222
#28
My parents were/are racist. I grew up in a “Christian evangelical” household. Despite living in a diverse city (London) my parents would say the most disgusting things. And of course, I said the same things. I didn’t know any better - until I educated myself. Now I call out the racisms and homophobia - but it’s exhausting being the person who made mum cry again. My mum died a while ago, and although I do miss her and have fond memories of her - my overruling memories of her is when she was toxic and racist/homophobic. My dad is the same, but is less vocal about it.My parents were the typical I am not racist I have black/Asian friends. I always used to say, what do you think your black/Asians friends would say if they heard what you said behind closed doors.
One time - I moved country. And I was really new to the country so didn’t speak the native language. My mum FaceTimed me and was complaining about how she is fed up of not hearing English in the streets and all these immigrants taking our jobs.. blah blah blah. I couldn’t believe she was saying that - to me, an immigrant who didn’t speak the language. Racists are just f**king stupid. There is zero logic in their way of thinking.
Image credits: CopperHead49
#29
I wouldn't say I was super racist, but I was raised in a family that seriously looked down on blacks and it may have colored my views a bit. I just accepted they weren't as smart, made dumb financial decisions, more physical and more prone to being violent. Stuff like that.Then I found out the guy I was gaming with online for years was black. Super intelligent guy, PhD student, total weeb, and a damn good ADC to my support.
#30
Echo chambers and lack of diversity. I grew up in the 90’s in an area with a tiny black population. The older people were racist, and the younger people just repeated what the older people said and didn’t have any experiences with black people that could have changed their minds. Not to mention it doesn’t help when the news blasted black crime all over the television every night to help fuel the divide.I started thinking for myself and learned to judge people based on the person they are. I read books, and philosophies, and simply educated myself. I also started noticing that the white supremacists were always the least supreme looking of the white race. Trash breads trash.
Image credits: RockySlough
#31
I teach film to kids some times, and we come in and make a film with these kids in a matter of days. This one kid I had in my group recently was known as coming from a racist household, mainly against refugees (a big point here in Europe right now). He made some remarks here and there, and when watching the news got very focal against refugees.We were going to show a short documentary about refugees, and the teacher was preparing me that this kid could be triggered by this and be annoying. The documentary we watched was from the point of view of a kid just a few years older then the kids in this class. You saw him struggling to learn our language, living in close quarters and most importantly living far away from his parents. A big part of the film was about him trying to get permission to get his mother and sisters, whom he had not seen in years, here.
At the end of the film the refugee family was not reunited. After trying for years to no avail. The kids in the class were all devastated, but most of all this one ‘racist’ kid. He insisted on signing the petition to help the boy in front of the whole class, and was noticeably upset about the situation the boy lived in.
It warmed my heart to see him go against the hate he had been taught. Kids aren’t racist. They are just copying their parents. The empathy in a child is such a wonderful thing.
Image credits: Judgeman
#32
My grandma grew up in Virginia in the 1900s. Being racist is just the default setting. Nana loved her family more than anything, though. So at one point in the late 1980s, she met her first not-100%-white grandkid, and discovered she still loved him.She made astounding late life progress accepting that darker skin toned people were not only people, but family, friends and welcome in her house.
#33
I moved from the backwoods of upstate Pennsylvania to South Florida. I didn't meet someone other than a white person until I was about 18. Moving away from a sheltered place changed everything.#34
My parents.When I was a kid, both of my parents were in grad school and extremely busy, so my paternal grandmother spent a lot of time taking care of me. Unbeknownst to my parents, she filled my head with racist stuff about how I shouldn't be friends with blacks or Latinos. Just stick to befriending the other Indian kids, though whites were acceptable too. One day, I said something about black people that caught my parents off guard (I don't remember what) but my parents asked me where I had learned that and I told them.
They talked to her and she never really changed her ways. This ultimately led to my parents no longer letting my grandmother live with us or be around my siblings and I without their supervision, because they couldn't allow such a negative influence helping to raise us.
My parents talked to me about why what my grandmother told me was wrong. It didn't take too much to get me back to being a normal, non-racist person because I genuinely liked many of the black and Latino kids in my class.
#35
I was extremely racist in 6th and 7th grade. I had a strong hatred for East Asians, African American, and Caucasian people for no good reason. My parents also didn't express any form of racism, which just makes my actions even more ridiculous.I would constantly harass this East Asian girl, making fun of her appearance and telling her that she ate dog. I would also refer to Caucasians as "crackers" and would make slavery jokes in front of the African American kids. So yeah, I was a pretty terrible person.
I changed after two events occurred. The first was when I got into a race war with an African American girl. I made a really racist joke about dark chocolate, which led to her telling me off. She didn't mention my past history, which led to the principal letting me off the hook. Later that day, we had a liturgy (I went to a Catholic school), and my crush was there. An African-American kid was trying to be nice and let me sit next to her, but instead I pushed him over and told him to get hanged. Eventually, my crush and a teacher overheard my remark, which led to me being taken out of the liturgy and sent to the office. I was later given a detention for my remarks, and that detention became Saturday school when the girl told the teachers of my past behavior.
A few months later, I was still unchanged. I just stopped teasing the African-American kids. One day, I went to the East Asian girl and made a joke about her belonging in a sweatshop. Clearly annoyed, she told me off. I was immediately suspended, and my parents decided to take me to a behavioral counselor for my actions. After this incident, I reformed myself. I apologized to everyone I had harassed for the past two years, and stopped my racist behavior. I left the school one year later, as I wanted to leave the past behind. I learned to accept everyone of all colors, and no one should be treated poorly because of the color of their skin.
#36
I was raised by racist parents and grandparents but I just grew up and formed my own ideas. Public school helped, most of my friends were Mexican as we lived in a mostly Mexican town growing up. It wasn’t a big realization or anything After I turned 9 I stopped believing in god, stopped being racist. By 12 I was interested in politics and left leaning while my parents are die hard republicans. I just formed my own ideas and didn’t let them brainwash me.#37
My brown godfather found out [I was in a skinhead group]. He confronted me about it crying. Disassociated with those a**holes then and there (I was like 16)Had my american front tattoo covered up by a reddit alien recently.
#38
Ooh i can finally answer one of these in a serious way. So I was raised in the bible belt by a super far-right dad. My mom and sister were pretty normal but growing up I hated Obama and I was on the email list for a couple of groups that were extremely pro-second amendment and far-right. This seemed normal to me and all throughout high school, i acted like a jack a** to people in my school who weren't white or supported a liberal agenda. Eventually, I went off to college.. took a year off.. and moved back in with my dad while I saved up money to hike the Pacific Crest Trail on the west coast. During that year that I took off, I interacted with so many minorities and liberals and people who I would have hated in high school. But after living a ‘hippy’ lifestyle for 2 months while hiking the PCT and even living at an “Eco-Feminist-Hostel” in Hawai’i for 2 months I became a lot more chill. Now I'm no longer racist and I'm a lot less likely to judge someone for their beliefs no matter what they are.#39
I was raised to not be racist. I didn't even recognize being white as a child, I told people I was peach colored. I had bestfriends who were black, Spanish, middle eastern. Then I went into a group home. My friend was jumped for being white, I was made fun of, I got hit a lot, was told I was a no good whitey, got yelled at walking down the street, called snow bunny, got called honkey, hady food stolen for being white, was told I could never understand hard times. And for a long time it made me bitter and judgemental. Now that I'm out of those situations I don't generalize anymore and I'm back to my old self.#40
Started high school and had a crush to someone who said I'd be hotter if I wasn't racist. Kind of a s**tty reason but I'm glad it provoked me to question things#41
Interacting with other races. Was racist against Mexican people because the first one I spoke to was a d**k. Loved black people cuz one of my best friends was black. Then I worked with the laziest slobbiest black guy, and the most honest hard-working Mexican dude. Then I remembered that a lot of white people were d**ks, and a lot of us were lazy. And then I met this Indian dude. He smelled. Awful. Every day he smelled terrible. I also am capable of smelling awful and I've been a d**k to people, and I've been lazy at some jobs. I'm a person, everyone else is also a person, really doesn't matter that colour they are or what they believe in. I'll disagree with some people and I'll agree with others. We're all people.#42
I had low self esteem, and no friends. The skinheads at my school were nice to me, and treated me as one of their own. I adopted their beliefs as sense of belonging. Well, actually I was never racist, never. I would however go along with it, because I liked them, they were my friends and I did not want to lose them.Eventually my self esteem improved enough that I no longer felt a need to conform to a group I disagreed with, just to have friends. Ironically it was having these skinhead friends that built up my confidence.
On the plus side when I finally left the group, most of them had abandoned their racism, as if it was just a passing fad.
#43
I’m from Ireland.. I used to think it was funny using words like ‘paki’ for anyone who wasn’t white. I moved to Australia at 25 and became friends with people from many cultures/ skin colours/ sexuality etc… I visited home a few years ago and was horrified by the way people talked. For me, the racism was just the way people talked, but also having no experience for people who weren’t white and from were most people in Ireland are used too#44
I’m not nor have been racist but I heard this story from a similar post a little while ago, and wanted to share.A guy and his racist buddy are big sci-fi nerds (star trek Star Wars mass effect etc). Racist buddy says something along the lines of “man don’t you wish races and cultures could exist like this in real life”. Guy replies “you can’t even appreciate the races and culture that are on the earth today, and you think you’d treat them differently?” And apparently this causes racist buddy to reevaluate his entire perspective on life.
I loved this story cause I always believed sci-fi and fantasy helps rationalize real world issues and makes people understand that we are more similar then different, and now I have at least one good piece of evidence.
#45
My parents are pretty racist and I just parroted whatever they said without really thinking. Then I went to a school that was 50% black. They were generally pretty loud and rowdy and one of them did not respect personal space but they weren't bad people like my parents told me and I realized they were full of s**t.I also saw that the school was practically segregated. All the white and Asian kids were in the school's special program which had its own fancy new building with fancy new smartboards and shiny new textbooks. The normal part of the school was pretty much all black and Hispanic, the teachers were apathetic, and there weren't enough textbooks for a class, and the textbooks that were available looked like a rabid dog on meth tore through them. That didn't sit right with me.
#46
I was only ever online racist because I spent way too much time on 4chan during my impressionable years. Beyond being a joke I never really understood or fully believed it.One thing I have learned that made me understand race wasn't the issue is that there's stupid people in every walk of life and the biased opinions of racists are cherry picking to fit their world views.
#47
not me but - my grandad was a very racist white old man, who attempted to push his beliefs onto his children. my dad kind of followed suit, but when i ask him about it, he says he knows he’s “in the minority” and “that racism isn’t ok” so i really don’t understand where he stands - anyway - my uncle went on to have 3 children with his wife from zimbabwe, and my auntie had her daughter with a man from nigeria and 4 children with a man from kurdistan. my grandad has been a lot less racist since then.#48
Grew up in a small conservative town of 99% white people In the 70’s. when I went to college and met people of different backgrounds and spent time with them my views began changing. This is also when I starting realizing the Bible wasn’t factual. Took about another 20 years to become a liberal atheist but here I am and it’s very eye opening.#49
Just grew up. was a bit of an angry lonely kid found the the right wing on the Internet and as a teenager they gave me someone to blame for all my problems and something to be apart of fast forwards to the present day I've got some real world experience and I've done a total one eighty I'm basically a border line socialist I've interacted with people of different races and backgrounds and have realised people of different races and backgrounds aren't the enemy and that we are compatible#50
Fear.I grew up in a rural town, my dad was a racist and surprisingly I wasn’t yet. I of course had my bias towards everyone but I hated how my dad spoke of so called…well you know the word.
Then I had an experience that would take me about 9 years to reverse the consequences. I was a really introverted kid so I didn’t really talk in school, however in social studies one day I was walking along the back wall of the class during a project and awkwardly walked past a black classmate. I smiled to be friendly and the response was him football smashing me into the concrete wall and kicking me while saying racial slurs. I still remember him walking away laughing “f**kin’ white boy”
Yeah so after that I just despised black people and had a distrust of everyone not white; from age 11 to 21. It wasn’t until I discovered my love for philosophy and fell in love with a Muslim woman that is the best person I know that I changed. We’re not together just friends though due to religious restrictions; which is more than fine.
Philosophy taught me “We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”
#51
Not a former racist,friend was. He hated everyone different to him. He had an accident which damaged his spine. He had to learn to walk again. It took two years. He married his nurse after his treatment ended. I was his best man at his wedding. They have three lovely children. Godfather to the oldest. His wonderful wife is dark skinned#52
Internet. Internet helped me understand everyone has problems.#53
The military. We all bleed red.#54
I grew up in Utah. I didn’t see or meet a black person until I was 10 yrs old. We had Mexicans and native Americans, mostly Navajo around us. There was plenty of racism towards them.We had a neighbor whose office was adorned with all kind of KKK posters and paraphernalia. The hate that was spewed on those posters scared the s**t out of me. Though I liked to joke about other races, I couldn’t understand such hate.
#55
I was one of a few white kids in a largely Hispanic community and school. I got mistreated pretty badly, as did the other white kids. It was enough to change my opinion of Mexican people.fast forward to real life: I work in a restaurant now and my Mexican coworkers are the hardest working, genuinely kindest people I have met and never once have an ounce of complaint even when we're all tired and overworked. the dishwasher does extra stuff for me when he doesn't have to simply because he's a kind person and he knows I'm busy. the Mexican cooks are more likely to make food for everyone around lunch time, f**king delicious food. I have so much appreciation for the culture and mentality of Mexican people now that I couldn't find when I was younger due to mean and immature children that bullied me for being different.
#56
Spent a month as a minority. It's pretty disconcerting to have everyone turn to look at you everywhere you go. I spent a month in an Asian country. I didn't see another white person for a week. Even though there was no animosity, it was just tough being "the strange looking person" day after day#57
Grew up in a small remote town. Racism runs rampant when everyone is the same and you rarely meet anyone who’s different than you and the 900 other people.Once I moved away I realized the culture of my town was the problem, not the other people. I also got a formal education which really helped.
In Canada, our schools teach its students basically nothing about the atrocities committed against our indigenous people. This only increases the amount of racism.
#58
Met black people, met asians. Realized they're just people and it took more energy to hate them irrationally than it did to just... Not. From there it was easy to not be racist against others.#59
Grew up without much exposure to those from other cultures and inherited some biases from my parents/family.I fixed it by going to college in another state where I was surrounded by a much more diverse set of people and being open-minded.
#60
It’s kind of hard to articulate but I’ll try. I grew up and still live in the Bible Belt in a predominantly white area. I grew up being taught that the KKK was evil but also hearing racist jokes every now and then and the people around me laughed so I thought they were funny too and would even pass them on. It didn’t happen overnight but there was this slow realization that these jokes are not funny and it’s NOT ok to have a feeling of superiority over someone because of skin color or cultural differences. The middle aged white people in this area are so ignorant of how they sound. The same people that tell racist jokes would be butthurt if they would be called racist. Someone that I know fairly well was trying to be super PC and she called black people “the coloreds” because she thought that was better then just saying black. It was so cringey.#61
I come from a family of racists. They spoke of other (than whites) races using ethnic slurs as common as commenting on the weather.When I was about 5, my older brother and i went into the local bakery to pick up an order for our mom who was waiting in the car. A black boy was in front of us in line. This was something i hadn't often seen and i said very loudly to my brother, look it's a n-r!
My brother quickly shushed me,which made me very confused, but it was the crushed look on the boy's face that made me start to question my family's viewpoint.
Over 40 years later, I have a very diverse friend group, but still feel shame on how I made that boy feel those many years ago.
#62
Sesame Street. I'm not even joking.Was raised in a slightly racist household in a pretty racist state.
Seeing kids of all colors playing together made me wonder why my mom wouldn't let me play with certain people.
It kind of snowballed from there.
#63
One on one time with white people. I had bad experiences with white peers when I was a kid. I was always left out and felt ostracized. As an adult, I still feel that way sometimes. It helps to have one on one time with acquaintances and friends who are white. You get a better sense of their inner monologue. By finding common ground, you make better assumptions about them even in their absence.#64
I wasn't racist but my mum was. I had a middle-eastern friend and she realised she's not a terrorist and she realised that race doesn't make you a terrorist - being a terrorist does#65
It happened slowly over time, so slowly that I didn’t even notice it until it had consumed me.I went to a college that was > 50% POC, which was located within a poor, mostly Black neighborhood. I got along fine with POC students: we worked together, hung out together, partied together, etc. But as time went on, I developed prejudiced and racist attitudes towards the “locals,” as I referred to them.
It originated with several instances of my close friends being brutally mugged / assaulted, enough to put them in the ER for several days. I became afraid and angry, and that anger eventually morphed into hatred.
My moment of clarity came after my roommate was assaulted. I was recounting the story to a friend, and then he asked me, in a hateful tone, “were they Black?” to which I responded, in an equally hateful tone, “what do you think?”
After those words came out of my mouth, I didn’t even recognize myself. I had always considered myself a progressive, and here I was talking like a racist. It didn’t take me long to realize the truth: I WAS a racist.
I think that was the most insidious part of it: I had managed to convince myself that I wasn’t racist, despite the fact that I treated every POC who wasn’t a student like they were a threat, and despite the ugly ideas and prejudices that were forming in my head. I was blinded by my anger for my friends, and I could no longer see myself.
I’ve done a lot of introspection and self education since then, and I’d be naive to say that I’ve completely purged myself of my biases, but I am in a much better place than I was.
#66
Fellow native Kansan here. While my town was bigger this is exactly how it was for me too. I moved and my exposure widened. Then I got a job working with a girl from inner city Chicago. Her life was like a movie that I couldn’t even imaging having to endure but she and I had personalities and values so similar that we quickly became best work friends. I learned a lot from her and most of it came down to shut up and listen.It’s such a simple lesson but people are people are people and it dawned on me that everyone I grew up with was wrong.
This last summer was eye opening to me because I finally understood it’s not my place to do anything g but listen. The white people pushing back and nay saying on the American black experience are wrong and I finally get it.
I would argue most mildly racist people don’t know what they are doing.
#67
I saw Home Alone. After that I loved white people.#68
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