Bartender Shares How She Gained Weight And How This Radically Changed The Way Customers Treat Her

The harsh truth is that the way that you look has a huge impact on your life: from how people treat you even to your financial situation at the end of the month. Especially for anyone working in the service industry as a tipped employee, for instance, a bartender. It’s called the halo effect and in a nutshell, it means that we tend to perceive attractive people as being better at everything and treat them better.

And that’s exactly the topic that Cassidy Lane, aka Body_positive_bartender, tackled in a viral TikTok video. She shared how radically people’s behavior with her changed at work when she started putting on weight during the pandemic after receiving help for her eating disorder. Cassidy said that her whole life changed. “People don’t even look you in the eye anymore,” she shared the heart-rending way others shifted their behavior.

Bored Panda had a chat about eating disorders with an expert in the field, Catherine Cook-Cottone, a Professor of Counseling at the University at Buffalo Graduate School of Education. Read on for her insights.

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Image credits: body_positive_bartender

You can watch Cassidy’s full candid and emotional TikTok video right here

@body_positive_bartender ##stitch with @lizagnabathwater we can all pretend it’s not true, but we know it is. ##fatphobia ##bodypositivemoment ##bartendersecret ##serversoftiktok ♬ Body (Remix) [feat. ArrDee, E1 (3×3), ZT (3×3), Bugzy Malone, Buni, Fivio Foreign & Darkoo] – Tion Wayne & Russ Millions

Cassidy’s candid and emotional video got more than 1.3 million likes on TikTok. She pointed out that it’s especially men that are now more dismissive of her while they’d be enthusiastic in speaking with her before. The body positivity advocate said that she feels “hopeless” and wondered whether there will ever come a time when she’ll be worth more than just her looks.

One of the most prevalent eating disorders is anorexia, also known as Anorexia nervosa. People with anorexia constantly monitor their weight, restrict their calories, avoid eating certain types of foods, and tend to view themselves as overweight even if they’re dangerously underweight.

According to Professor Cook-Cottone, there are three things that people suffering from anorexia need to focus on if they want to get the illness under control: medical, psychological, and nutritional care.

The video creator pointed out that the shift in how customers treated her was very sudden and drastic

Image credits: body_positive_bartender

“Medical Care: a medical doctor who knows Anorexia nervosa and can make sure you are physically okay. Most doctors do not have specialized training, so be sure to find someone with training,” the professor told Bored Panda.

“Psychological Care: secure a competent mental health professional who has training in working with eating disorders. This person can help you work on goals for not only your physical wellbeing but your emotional and relational wellbeing,” she said.

“Find someone who knows about positive embodiment and getting back to being in and of your body in a positive way—this means finding healthy places to be in your body—like a body positive yoga study, hiking, and getting back to the full experience of your body.”

Cook-Cottone continued: “Make sure they ask you about your goals and dreams in life and help you think about building up the parts of you that are not aligned with the disorder.” According to the professor, the point of this is to shut down behaviors and thoughts linked to anorexia. “Recovery is about getting back to effectively living your life.”

Nutritional care is just as important as medical and psychological support. “Find a nutritionist that not only knows about working with eating disorders—they also know about intuitive eating and getting back to being with food in a nourishing and healthy way, as well as how to honor your body and what it needs, not only to survive, but to flourish.”