Kids can definitely push the boundaries by misbehaving and just ignoring their parent as they are being told off. For some miraculous reason, their attention is impossible to get until parents eventually lose it and bring in the top gun—yelling. But this parenting coach is saying that there is no need to yell and that there is another way to get them to comply.
Tia Slighthman, who goes under the name of @parentingcoach on TikTok, shared a video that exploded with views, comments, and likes. And not only does she explain why kids tend not to listen, she explains how can you change that and save your precious nerves. Bored Panda reached out to Tia to talk about her advice and methodology.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | Tia Slightham
Tia, a parenting coach and a mother of two, asked a question that perhaps not many parents have considered before
Image credits: parentingcoach
Tia, who is a parenting coach, teacher, best-selling author, and avid health food lover, decided to share why children only listen when they are being yelled at. The mother of two boys revealed that the way of getting your child to comply is learning how to set “concrete, clear, and consistent boundaries.” The mom in the video that already got over five million views asked “Do you want to know why your kids don’t listen until you yell and lose your sh*t?” and her answer could be shocking for some: apparently parents are the ones setting that boundary themselves. Tia is practicing what she preaches. “I’ve been working with kids and families for over 16 years. I’ve used my system and easier parenting formula in my classroom of students, with my own kids, and thousands of parents (clients) around the world.”
Turns out that no one else is behind setting the yelling boundary but parents themselves
Image credits: parentingcoach
Her advice is to start practicing a strategy that doesn’t involve yelling. Tia says that kids are born with the need to push boundaries until those boundaries are actually found. It is common for some parents to ask nicely, then give reminders, then carry on nagging, which eventually leads to losing their temper and shouting. The kids learn that there is no need to listen the first time or even when the parent asks multiple times. The point that they have learned is that the boundary is set at the point when the parent starts to yell. “They listen when a boundary is set and that boundary is set when you yell.”
Image credits: parentingcoach
Kids learn which boundary is the final line; therefore, the first times being asked get ignored
Image credits: parentingcoach
Tia claims that the only way to break this cycle that gradually leads from saying things nicely to yelling is by learning how to set concrete, clear, and consistent boundaries that make the kids do what the parent needs without yelling. Tia has a masters in early childhood education and is certified in positive discipline. She also created a 12-week online coaching program, The Parenting With Purpose Method. “It is my methodology which guides parents to create battle-free days with their kids. No yelling, anger, punishment or guilt! Finally having kids who listen, cooperate, and act respectfully in a non-combative way!” She also noted that “The Parenting With Purpose Method will work for all parents but we can’t implement just one piece of the puzzle—we must consider all the pieces to reach your goals.”
Image credits: parentingcoach
Tia advises parents to learn how to set or re-set the existing boundaries
Image credits: parentingcoach
Tia emphasizes that “shifting your parenting to shift your child’s behavior” is the key to change the dynamics of how kids behave. On her website, she admits that some of her parenting coaching clients feel tired and hopeless, but reminds readers that “setting boundaries is not intuitive, loving your kids is.” But things are not as bad as they seemed to be, as setting boundaries is actually a learned skill, so once the parent takes the step in learning how to set clear limits, it turns out to be much easier from there.
Image credits: parentingcoach
Here is the video that exploded with millions of views, likes and comments
@parentingcoachWant to know why kids only listen when you yell or lose your shit? ##yellingmom ##momfrustration ##parentinghelp ##positiveparenting ##parentingcoach ##moms♬ Beautiful, winter, calming piano corporate(901421) – SK MUSIC
Video credits: parentingcoach
And here are some of the generous comments shared by people online
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