Few things in our society ever get questioned. We get caught in its cogwheels in such a way that we don’t realize that our expectations, attitudes, and ideas about how things should be get distorted.
And when it comes to women, unwanted things and unpleasant experiences they have to go through are often so normalized, nobody makes a big deal out of it. You stop for a sec and wonder ‘how on earth did this happen?’
This exact discussion was sparked when one redditor asked women on Ask Reddit “What is something that women experience and is seen as 'normal' but is actually very wrong, and shouldn’t be as accepted as it is?” As you can imagine, women had a lot to say in that department and the responses started flowing in. Let’s see some of the most eye-opening ones right below.
#1
Downplaying how horrible periods can be. I've seen so many men act like women are being babies on their period and it's just enraging.
Image credits: OverallDisaster
#2
The amount of sexual abuse and harassment that is rampant in our society. Most women I know started being harassed by men when they were elementary school students, and that is seen as normal.
Image credits: the-neonmoon
#3
I know way too many women who think it's normal to have to do most of the housework and childcare, plus the mental and emotional load of household management, even if they also have an outside job. Also to manage their husbands as if they are children who can't be expected to remember to make appointments or buy their own clothes or things for the children or holidays or take care of menial tasks without reminders and help.
Image credits: FranzLuciferdinand
#4
Dressing little girls in a way that makes it difficult for them to move around. Your 4-year-old should not miss out on valuable play because she doesn't want to mess up her clothes or hair. Her appearance should be the last freaking thing on her mind. It makes me so angry to see little girls having to sit on the sidelines while their brothers and male cousins play rambunctiously because their parents put them in a dress and expensive shoes.
Image credits: parezcounapina
#5
Catcalling, it's gross and degrading.
Image credits: Electrical-Nothing25
#6
Being expected to let men have sex with them but also shaming any woman who also shows a modicum of Libido. It's almost like society wants women to have sex but hate it at the same time and it's gross
Image credits: Chessebel
#7
Being expected to be nice when a man is overstepping your boundaries. As soon as we express any discomfort we're made to feel we should be nice to them. Eg: it was only banter, lighten up, that sort of thing.
Image credits: infamyinfamy
#8
Men pushing boundaries without consent during sex. "Accidentally" putting it in the wrong hole. Strangling. Hitting. Abusive misogynistic language. Pretty much every woman I know has had a man do these things out of nowhere towards them and they are supposed to accept it because it's "kinky" or something. And now it's literally 15 years old girls who are dealing with this trauma because of p*rn normalizing it as something boys are supposed to do to women, its completely disgusting
Image credits: OrangeyPanda
#9
That people think they have the right to comment on how a woman looks or what she is wearing. There have been way too many times where someone feels they need to point out my 'physical flaws' just because. For example: acne, dark circles under my eyes, body/facial hair, paleness, etc.
Image credits: mermaid_with_pants
#10
The fear of expressing too much comfort around male friends who might see it as a sexual opportunity. Too many of us experience this
Image credits: Ripple935
#11
People speaking over them, and/or the inherent ‘brush off’ that “if a woman says it it needs to be verified somehow.”
Image credits: elephantasmos
#12
Being polite to creepy men. There are so many things that can go wrong and I've read too many stories of women being killed for not taking a guy's number
Image credits: TheSilverCrystal
#13
The constant picking apart of womens appearance by basically everyone and holding women to insane beauty standards (extensions, false lashes, makeup, drawn on eyebrows, contouring tricks to change your face, dye your hair, dress sexy, don't dress too sexy, wax your privates, dye your hair, stay in shape, have a big butt, tiny waist, push up bras, get fake nails, on and on and freakin on)
Image credits: Snoo55011
#14
I’m in the UK, I love running but I pretty much can’t train past a few months as when my fiancé is home at 4:30pm it’s dark, I can’t run on our old railway path when it’s dark! It’s annoying but normal to me now, but for a man? Yep run on your own at 5pm no worries
Image credits: UnderstandingCheap57
#15
I find it a bit insulting when you see a picture of a woman who is really pretty and you find out that she’s a top scientist or engineer or a doctor, something very prestigious, and a person says “ Wow, She’s pretty, I wasn’t expecting that!” What, like are smart people usually butt ugly? pretty girls can’t be smart? Wtf! I feel like that’s really common and needs to end.
Image credits: itsrachyrach
#16
“You were probably asking for it.”
Image credits: numerumnovemamo
#17
Women feeling 'expected' to have sex and having their pleasure be secondary. I experienced this a lot when I was younger and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Like, I thought if I was kissing a guy, 'Well, now I’m expected to have sex with him because he’s turned on. I guess I have to.' And also thinking that during sex, the end goal was really mostly about him. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how flawed it was for me to think that way, and for men to have reinforced that thinking via their actions.
Image credits: GreenMountain85
#18
Inappropriate behavior from men, especially from a young age. If a boy hits a little girl he “just likes her”. That little boy grows up thinking there’s no repercussion for violence, and keeps hitting women. The cycle just goes on.
Image credits: professional_joe
#19
Spaghetti strap tanktops on a hot summer day being "provocative".... And the high school dress code
Image credits: crazy4zoo
#20
Medical discrimination. Not believing woman’s pain or symptoms or saying they are completely related to your monthly cycle/hormones.And thinking of woman primarily by their reproductive capacity. Yes, doctor I came in for this rash but sure let’s answer your question on family planning and my birth control options.
Image credits: Nephron8
#21
As a child boys pulling your skirt up.Periods like they are something we should be ashamed of and not talk about.
When talking a rape, women are told things they should not do and things are directed at they are to blame for anything and everything that happens.
Being talked over.
You either talk too much or not enough.
Being sexualized at any age. Looking at you beauty pageants.
When you prove a man wrong, somehow you are villain because you hurt his pride.
#22
The fact that women die of reproductive cancers more often than men because our pain and symptoms aren't taken seriously. So many health women lose their lives because their pain and suffering is considered normal, are told that what they're experiencing isn't bad because women are meant to experience pain and dysfunction.
Image credits: TheThoughtfulLemon
#23
Tolerating partners who drain your energy, put you down, and don't put in effort to your relationship and/or household because you believe what you should be doing is trying to fix them or figure out how to make them behave. Relationships ARE work and conflict is bound to happen, but I see so many women doing all of the work all the time and blaming themselves when their men don't get better.
Image credits: ohdearsweetlord
#24
Not being able to walk down the street at night with headphones on without carrying your keys as a weapon.
Image credits: An-Aussie-Abroad
#25
Pressure to have kids. Lectures and being guilted if you don't want to. The weird idea some people push that motherhood needs to be the center of our lives.
Image credits: Connie_Damico
#26
Not getting the help from doctors that we need to survive. A woman in my country died from cancer that was related to her undiagnosed endometriosis, but for years doctors just thought they were 'bad periods'.#27
Being with giant manbabies who do not know how to act like adults.Ladies it is not normal to be with someone who argues with you, never cleans up after himself and expects you to do all of the housework.
#28
One thing I have dreaded since beginning. Like it was the first thing that caught my eye as a sign of normalised discrimination, was.. Whenever a guest arrived at my place. I or my sister was supposed to make tea or prepare some snacks. But my brothers played outside. I hated it so much.
Image credits: paw__
#29
Men hitting on you after you’ve made it clear you’re not interested but stopping immediately if they find out you have a boyfriend, so you must “belong” to another man.#30
The expectation that in an office, a woman has to put 200% more work and money into her appearance than her male colleagues and sacrifice a good deal of personal comfort to a "business casual" dress code. Hair, makeup, tight pants, pencil skirts, nylons in the summer, high heels, a kit of self-care cosmetics that need to be carried in a big bag.And men? 20$ haircut once a month, maybe + 10$ for a beard trim. Shoes are mostly shaped like actual feet, pants are either loose or VERY stretchy, leggings territory stretchy without a tight fit. Most don't wear ties anymore.
Image credits: Starryglare
#31
Being expected to fix a broken man. Men are never expected to fix broken women, but women are always expected to be some dudes second mommy when he needs to go see an actual therapist.#32
The way the medical community seems to approach childbirth. I've watched documentaries etc. (no kids myself) and what really struck me is how patronizing everyone was to these women who are going through perhaps the worst pain of their life, and how things like LITERALLY CUTTING THEIR GENITALS are seen as no big deal.
Image credits: AirStoned
#33
That condescending and infuriatingly arrogant tone that some men take on when explaining something (be it a hobby, some interesting fact, or the fundamentals of this-and-that) when their listener is a woman. I understand that this may simply be done to impress, rather than be irritating, but just knowing that they wouldn't dare talk this way to a male friend or colleague is...well, irritating.
Image credits: Marjory_SB
#34
Being married and having children with men who are absent parents/house hold members and it not being a point of contention, just accepted, expected, and accommodated.
Image credits: Omniiglass
#35
Women being called "girls." Whether it is conscious or not, it implies a lack of maturity and, therefore, deserved respect. Among countless other places I have heard this, I attempted to watch a season of The Bachelor (bad decision for many reasons) and I could not stand how often the women were called "girls." I couldn't bring myself to check out The Bachelorette, but I suspect the men are never called "boys."
Image credits: merrypoppin
#36
Not technically "women" but I think getting an infant/very young girl's ears pierced should not be acceptable. Parents are ignoring their child's right to consent to things that happen to their body and it's purely aesthetic. Strange to push beauty standards on babies, let alone one that involves literally putting a hole in their body that could last their whole life.
Image credits: naughtyschool_girl
#37
Needing to laugh when a man tells a joke/needing to agree when a man argues
Image credits: anonymous
#38
Birth control. Side effects and horrible horrible possible risks
Image credits: caitiemaybugu
#39
Not being taken seriously.
Image credits: The_Special_Teacher
#40
Being tickled/touched by older men (grandpas, uncles, neighbors) and given sexual compliments like “you have child-bearing hips” or “you have your mother’s bum” from a young age.#41
The idea that men & women cannot maintain healthy, purely platonic relationships w/ eachother (cos sex will eventually come up & get in the way) + the idea that a woman must drop all her male friends or cannot maintain contact w/ them once she enters an exclusive, romantic relationship.
Image credits: thakoconubian
#42
Ignoring the very real and common (1:4) issue of miscarriage. Over 25% of women will experience one. And more than a few of those will have multiple failures. But we are not allowed to talk about children that never breathed.#43
The burden of motherhood in general.#44
My 14 year old daughter pointed out today how often my dad interrupts me. I hadn’t even noticed. She said, “yeah - all the men in our family interrupt and talk over you except dad.”#45
No.That's it.
The word no.
When a guy says no it's not usually questioned, they don't have to go into a long detailing as to why.
When a woman says no to pretty much anything they're either asked or they feel compelled to have to explain why their answer is no.
No is a complete sentence.
#46
Giving birth. at least where i live my dad said that "even cats give birth" like it's easy, he's so obnoxious and to think my mom gave birth to SEVEN.#47
Gender norms in hetero relationships. They are so disempowering and diminishing to women, but they are accepted as normal and fine.#48
That women are the emotional ones and are naturally empathetic. Let tell you women can have just of hard of a time expressing emotions and often women build wall around their hearts to protect themselves from being hurt by the variety of media and hurtful stereotypes out there.#49
Constant comments about our physical appearance from a very young age. It doesn’t matter if you are attractive or not either, because once people have a negative opinion on you they NEED to let you know.#50
"When a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you..."JUST NO!!! Anyone that truly loves you will not hurt you mentally, physically, or verbally. EVER!!! They tell you this when you're young to prepare your for a dirtbag husband in the future and some women never get the common sense to see that it's actually a bully!
#51
The amount of money we have to pay for menstrual products. I remember being a poor university student having to use rolled up toilet paper because I couldn't afford pads or tampons, and menstrual cups were not a thing back then. $12 for a box of tampons doesn't seem like much, until you're living off KD, ramen, and rice, then it becomes a luxury.#52
Women's clothing being paper thin and without pockets.#53
Being treated like you're to frail / idiotic / incapable to do things. When people won't let you do things because you're a woman or tell you to wait for or get your male partner to do that thing. I know it might be put across, commonly, as a care or consideration, but it's condescending, diminishing and a deprivation, at times.#54
the fact that women always want to lose weight, or are perpetually dieting because they believe they're not "thin enough."#55
Being firm often leads to a woman being branded as demanding.#56
Quite a lot of men and women expect women to handle all the housework and take care of the kids, especially if you are a stay at home mom.#57
Having to be hyper vigilant when walking home at night. Keys in hand - between your fingers, walk quickly, music turned down so you can hear if anyone comes up behind you etc.#58
The fact that so many females in the same roles as males tend to make far, far less.#59
I've had women act shocked that my husband cooks dinner not "sometimes" but at least once a week. He helps cook every other night. We trade off on dishes.I had a grown man proudly tell me he has never cooked, his mother or his wife always cook for him.
#60
Reducing us to labels. “Mother, wife.”We can’t fit into boxes or one role!
#61
Being stared at by men of all ages.#62
That traveling alone is dangerous—fine if you’re a guy, but as a woman, without a man or group traveling with you, you’re in danger#63
Getting hit on at 13 by grown men.#64
Painful periods. They are NOT normal and doctors need to stop making it seem as if it is. It took until my 30's, when I had surgery for a painful ovarian cyst, before they discovered I had endometriosis (and a dead fallopian tube). She was the ONLY doctor to even suggest I could also have endometriosis and that they would look while in surgery.#65
Telling me to smile when I don't f**king want to. But when I was younger I did out of discomfort.#66
Why isn't cuddling (btwn men & women) w/o any sexual implications or strings attached not more common? Why must every action lead to sex? Why can't I just be supported as your dear friend? Why can't you respect that I do not want sex? And why do you now grudgingly & hslf-assedly giveme what I want after I tell you sex will not happen. Isn't my non-sexual company enough for you? I guess not, cos you do not actually care about me solely as a human being. You are more concerned about getting your sexual needs met while w/ me...#67
The first time having sex being painful, honestly just painful sex in general.#68
I think this applies. When I was growing up, a family member had a band that would play around the area and we'd try to make it every time. I enjoyed dancing. I would dance with my cousins or family members or family friends my age. However, I was told I couldn't say no if someone asked me to dance and that it was rude. This included creepy old men. I can't tell you how many times throughout my preteens/teens I had to bear through a song with an old man pushed up against me telling me I was pretty.#69
The biggest one for me is the pleasure gap. If I came in the middle of sex and mid thrust, just rolled over and went to sleep with a “good work team!” people would think that was crazy. But it’s literally what men do every single day.#70
Catcalling, having to be polite to men who make us feel uncomfortable#71
Being harassed and assaulted at such a young age, and that’s just how it is. Learn how to keep yourself safe, bc society will blame you for it, even if you are 8.#72
Being treated like "one of the guys" Just because you're friends doesn't mean you can say and do disgusting and degrading things in front of us.#73
Absorbing men's dysfunction. He was abused? She'll talk him through the best therapy she can manage. He was never taught how to (normal life skill here)? She'll do it for him. He's too macho to take care of himself? She'll nag him till he does, and she better be a good sport and laugh as she's ridiculed for "being a nag".#74
The way pregnancy is treated like an illness. I feel like if men had to go through childbirth there would be more medical advancements in the field. Also, women’s childbirth injuries are often never treated seriously because the child is prioritized. Many never fully recover.#75
Harassment in certain workplaces.Obviously harassment in ANY workplace is vile and wrong, but my aunt once told me to except to be flirted with, hit on, and harassed if I continued to work in kitchens/restaurants. She said it was "just part of the territory" and that I needed to just "understand that that's the environment."
Excuse me? No. I don't care what the environment is, women should have to put up with harassment in the workplace.
#76
Not being listened to, even when asked for your direct input.#77
There is NOTHING a woman can like without being made fun of (and this is especially bad for teenage girls). I remember hearing this question for the first time and I genuinely couldn’t think of something that I would be able to like without someone mocking me#78
I am a huge fan of high heels and I like to wear them casually, but I don't believe that women should be "expected" to wear them if it's not their thing.#79
In public spaces, when men put their hands on you so they can pass by. It's common in clubs and bars, but happens elsewhere, too. Funny thing is, a guy can't get past you without putting his hands on your waist. But, he can navigate a wall of men totally touch free. So creepy and intrusive#80
The fact that they don't offer any pain mitigation for an IUD insertion is ridiculous.#81
Being home alone with a baby 1-3 days after a traumatic birth experience.#82
Women having to come up with safe and clever ways to reject a man’s advances instead of being able to give a simple no and have it being respected.#83
Being talked over me when I'm talking. I'm not saying women don't do this, but men interrupt me so much more and I think it's very disrespectful.#84
Strange men asking me to smile for them. It's not normal, it's creepy. You should feel straight cringed by this.#85
The expectation from men that is '' before earning the right to solve women issues, women should FIRST fix every single issues that affect men in the society they created for themselves ''#86
Birth control! The hormones can literally turn you into another person, give you depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, and we just have to accept that 65% of women are having their lives negatively affected on a regular basis, but they have no other choice if they don't want to become pregnant.And the option to just "trust condoms" comes along with trusting a man, who isn't really affected all that much at the end of the day if the woman becomes pregnant.
#87
NOT ORGASMING! Or, even if you’re ok with not orgasming sometimes, not even enjoying the sex.I will go to my grave screaming this, because it was me for years.
Women’s pleasure is NOT secondary.
#88
Being told to cover up in your own home because men are in the house.#89
Being solely responsible for contraception that f*cks with our body’s and emotions and hormones and it’s seen as completely acceptable to get a women to bleed for more than 6 months straight as a form of birth control. Basically stopping her from having sex.#90
Taxes on period products when they are already so expensive and we can’t control it. Also, men staring for far too long when women wear skinny jeans, leggings, or other form fitting pants/clothing when out in public, always irritates me.#91
When they go for a hug when a handshake would do (and they squeeze just a little too tight).#92
To have the husband "help" with the kids. To have him help around the house. It's his house, and his kids. This is how women's careers are destroyed. Having to be his personal assistant, maid, chef and nanny whilst also having a career to maintain some form of financial independence.#93
Keeping sexual abuse/assault under the wraps so that the abuser can not be penalized. Generally within the family.#94
Having to carry the emotional burdens of children more than men because we are the "sensitive" and "emotional" ones. Like please, men have just as many emotions as we do, yet women are expected to do all the emotional lifting when it comes to raising children, we are expected to handle the tantrums and soothe the crying of children.#95
I mean, the complete double standards we have for women as mothers as opposed to fathers. There’s a lot to be said but for example, we tell moms it’s normal to sacrifice damn near you’re whole entire body/career/hobbies/life for the kids but men are somehow not held to the same standard? Idk if I’m explaining well, I’m a tired mom.#96
Treating men nicely and them thinking we're flirting.#97
Second guessing our intelligence or EXCESSIVELY helping with minor and simple tasks. Some may think this is polite, but really, it makes most of us feel inferior.#98
The rates of Child Sexual Abuse perpetrated against female children... 1 in 3 girls. It's likely closer to 1 in 2 but we don't have perfect numbers to go off of.#99
The fact that our medical problems aren't seen as important as a man's. doctors tend to think we're overreacting or the issue is stress-related.#100
That liking traditional things like sewing, cooking, organising our space, makeup etc means we want to be housewives. No, it means we have hobbies. I'm not "preparing myself" to be a stay at home mom. If men like traditional things it's seen as... Nothing more than their hobbies.#101
Being taught to please others, plan your whole life around some abstract Future Husband you've never met and who may not even exist (and who isn't expected to plan his life around you), and never acknowledge your own needs. Just give and give and give until there's nothing left...and keep going anyway.#102
The expectation that women should wear makeup to be seen as professionals.Aging isn’t allowed. It is the norm for men to grow older and look it but women are constantly pressured to look young.
#103
Expected to do everything, work full-time, cook, clean, service with a smile.#104
Women are over sexualized in everyday life and in media.#105
Feeling uncomfortable wearing thinner/less clothing in front of male family members during ANY season, but especially summer#106
The horrendous acts of young boys towards girls with the excuse of “boys will be boys” or “he just has a crush on you!”#107
Society values men's time more than women's. My husband and I both technically have flexibility in our work schedules, but guess who does all the doctor appointments etc. for the kids? Me. Because God forbid a man miss work in the middle of the day, or take a day off because his kid is sick. Every time he has done it, he gets criticized by his higher-ups. Easier for me to just do it since everyone expects a mom to miss work sometimes.from Bored Panda https://bit.ly/3a013uT
via Boredpanda
