Swimming in warm water in the summertime. Placing the final piece of a puzzle that’s taken you months to complete. ‘Roasting’ someone online with a comeback so witty and so savage, they had to call the ‘Oh Snap’ and fire brigades. All three things have one thing in common—they’re all human experiences that make us feel gooood.
The ‘Clever Comebacks’ subreddit is one of the best places on the net to go to for awesome retorts that will forever be enshrined on the internet in online screenshots. Check out some of the most on-point and hilarious comebacks they posted ever. Remember to upvote your fave ones and we hope they’ll inspire you to show off your wit the next time someone says something dumb or has a go at you.
Bored Panda was interested to learn about what makes comebacks witty and about comedic timing, so we reached out to comedy writer and author of 'How to Live to 100,' Ariane Sherine. Read on to learn what she told us. What’s the best comeback that you’ve ever said or heard in real life, dear Readers? Do you think that the pen is mightier than the sword? Share your thoughts with all of us in the comments.
#1 I Understand Completely
Image credits: My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
#2 Never Underestimate A Woman
Image credits: Dry-Net
#3 Love This Guy
Image credits: humanitalian
Comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that, in her opinion, witty comebacks can be both spontaenous and planned out. "I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."
She also pointed out something that honestly took me by surprise: "When it comes to stand-up, a lot of heckle putdowns are scripted and shared among comics." And here I thought that heckles were all instinctive and natural. I'll have to rethink some stuff about my fave comedians now.
#4 “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”
Image credits: reddit.com
#5 People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles
Image credits: hayashiiiii
#6 You're The Problem
Image credits: Cereal_killer03
Ariane said that the line between a regular comeback and one that makes us snort into our cups of tea is clear for everyone to see. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." So no pressure then!
The beauty of comedy, according to Ariane, is that (sometimes) our subconscious mind kicks in and takes us by surprise, along with the audience. "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!
#7 Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
Image credits: twinkletoes_44
#8 Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe
Image credits: themaskedvillain
#9 Thank You Andy Wang!
Image credits: ykafia
The ‘Clever Comebacks’ community was founded in January 2018 and will be celebrating its 3-year anniversary very soon. In that time, they’ve amassed nearly 679k loyal members who are practicing the ancient art of the perfect comeback.
Personally, I think that comebacks are all about accurate, piercing, rapier-like wit. And the essence of wit is brevity, spontaneity, and stating the truth. It’s not a comeback if you spend an hour thinking about it and then another hour writing it out. Comebacks are the sniper rifles of the verbal battlefield. Not shotguns. Not machine guns. It’s all about one phrase—one roast.
The BBC tends to agree with my point of view. According to Rhea Wessel, witty comebacks can’t be planned—they can only be made in the moment. And timing is everything. Even if you come up with the perfect thing you could’ve said while you’re in the shower a day later, that amazing comeback is useless now. Too little. Too late.
#10 Raw Skiny Jeans Bat
Image credits: Master1718
#11 Illegal Plants
Image credits: YoloForJesusChrist
#12 British Museum
Image credits: athrvpatil
That’s actually the beauty of comebacks. Sometimes, you end up just as surprised by your wit as everyone else is. It’s like, for a single beautiful moment, the Spirit of Absolute Roasting possessed you and gave you glorious guidance.
Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio in Frankfurt, told the BBC that we can improve our wit by giving ourselves just a bit of extra time to craft a great answer. Strangely enough, that involves becoming a better listener. We need to train ourselves to listen to others and respond appropriately, instead of tuning out and only thinking about the points we want to make in the discussion. That way, you’ll be more than ready to mount a witty defense because you won’t be caught unaware.
#13 I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh
Image credits: iamafailedasian
#14 This Is A Really Good Reply To Trump's Tweet
Image credits: El-Cobra
#15 Flat Earthers Make Me Happy Because I Know I'm Not A Complete Failure
Image credits: svrmster103
#16 They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime
Image credits: TheRikari
#17 Useless Trees
Image credits: Kennydoe
#18 What An Awful Way To Protect The Elderly
Image credits: lucynyu13
#19 Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
Image credits: playhy
#20 Rage Against Something
Image credits: Camotoe
#21 Elite Finish
Image credits: MythicalBeast263
#22 Another Reason To Love The Beatles
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#23 Does This Count? The Author Actually Replied Back To Me Lmao
Image credits: turing042
#24 Not Mine But On Point
Image credits: justinpwheeler
#25 Separate Payments
Image credits: memezzer
#26 Left vs. Right
Image credits: reddit.com
#27 Depression vs. Asthma
Image credits: TitaniumPeak
#28 Flameproofing? But My House Isn't On Fire!
Image credits: ZacReligious
#29 That Last Line Though
Image credits: livebythem
#30 They Did Not See This Coming
Image credits: acagastya
#31 Austin Powers Would Be Proud Of That Comeback
Image credits: IShallPetYourDogo
#32 Big Footprints To Fill
Image credits: mysteresc
#33 Honesty Is The Best Policy
Image credits: Tubergod1
#34 Don’t Boast About Your Iq Test
Image credits: leafy_avocado
#35 Columbus Day
Image credits: reddit.com
#36 Who’ll Email You When You Block Him
Image credits: reddit.com
#37 I Love Puns
Image credits: discordgamer101
#38 'im Tired Of Being Responsible For Something That Is Entirely My Resposibility.'
Image credits: Master1718
#39 Can't Get Any More Clever Than This
Image credits: KingMushroomIV
#40 It’s Funny Because It’s True
Image credits: Gudakesa
#41 Boomer vs. Millenial
Image credits: buss123
#42 I Mean, He's Not Wrong ..
Image credits: MissTickleToes
#43 Weird Motives
Image credits: Random_420-69
#44 Depends On Who Writes The Comic
Image credits: Master1718
#45 Invasive Species
Image credits: MeesterNeusbaumTX
#46 Quite Funny To Be Honest
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#47 Especially Clever
Image credits: hydr0p0lis
#48 She Isn’t A Walking Womb
Image credits: PlatinumGamer55
#49 Facebook Comeback
Image credits: AkshayyChavan
#50 Oof! British People Be Like...
Image credits: BelleAriel
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