They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation's finest export. I know, you think it's scotch, but scroll through this list and then we'll talk.
The subreddit r/ScottishPeopleTwitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like "maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate" and "Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda" and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.
#1 Well That’s Us Screwed
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#2 We Love Arbroath
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#3 We All Need A Little Confidence Boost
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#4 Clever Cat
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#5 Pizza Time
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#6 What Freedom Is Aw Aboot
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#7 Vegan Scottish Cuisine
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#8 Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?
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#9 Maccies
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#10 He's Been Well Done There
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#11 Xmas Miracle
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#12 What Windows?
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#13 Eloquently Put
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#14 On The Bus
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#15 Our Government
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#16 Wholesome
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#17 Quick Take On The Scottish Play
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#18 Mask Up, Ya Bams
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#19 Our Currency Is The Best!
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#20 And One For Yourself Bartender
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#21 Very Fair Point
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#22 Mad Stoater
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#23 Just To Be Safe...
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#24 It's That Easy
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#25 Goths Are A Dying Breed
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#26 Frankie Doesn't Care
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#27 A Massive Lad
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#28 Absolute Fact
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#29 Fs John, Too Soon
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#30 A Record To Be Proud Of
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#31 Yer Da Does The Washing
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#32 Genitals!
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#33 Da-Da-Da-Da!
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#34 Platinum Next X
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#35 Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland
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#36 Wean's First Tooth
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#37 He’s Gonna Go Far
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#38 Fair Enough
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#39 A Junkie's Wisdom
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#40 Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately
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#41 Shavin A Tattie
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#42 Life, Eh, Finds A Way
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#43 Another Breed Of Spastic
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#44 Dilf Hunter
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#45 Too Right
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#46 Absolute Unit
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#47 Screw The Tories
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#48 Good Tae Know
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#49 Absolutely Out Of It
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#50 Stating The Obvious
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#51 Aye Just A Wee Side Note
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#52 Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair
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#53 Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)
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#54 True Happiness
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#55 Ye Nugget
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#56 Nevermind X
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#57 Something Not Right About That Soap
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#58 In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece
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#59 Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
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#60 Didnae Get Far Did Ye
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#61 Hunner Percent
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#62 You Still There?
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#63 Brick That Thing
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#64 10/10
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#65 I Remember My First Bus Journey
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#66 I Think Frankie’s Onto Something
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#67 Glasgoths
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#68 Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
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#69 Who The F*** You Talkin Tae
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#70 Big Note
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#71 Scottish Clothes Shops
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#72 It’s Tradition
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#73 Half Pizza Crunch Supper
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#74 The Force Is Strong In This Wan
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#75 Cheers Gran
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#76 Best. Dad. Ever
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#77 Double Scottish
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#78 Merry Christmas Everyone
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#79 Dexter The Dug
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#80 ‘Hink That’s Fair Enough
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#81 Solid Plan
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#82 All Those Hypotheticals
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#83 My Wee Angle
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#84 Where Are You From?
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#85 Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles
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#86 Outstanding Patter
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#87 Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots
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#88 Exam Advice
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#89 Papa Can You Hear Me?
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#90 Gotta Love Scottish Patter
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#91 Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid
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#92 Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine
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#93 These Flowers Are A Mystery
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#94 We Used To Be Accountants Really
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#95 It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left
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#96 Hotland
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#97 Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem
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#98 Aye
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#99 Sounds More Like The 30!
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#100 Absolute Genius
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#101 You’ll F***ing Pay Him For It N All
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#102 Clean Up On Aisle 4
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#103 "Av Not Got F***in Dementia"
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#104 Speeding Ostrich
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#105 Good Luck At School Today .
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#106 Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo
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#107 Manbat ??
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#108 Honesty's The Best Policy.
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#109 Two Faced C**ts
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#110 Who's The Lucky Girl?
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#111 Worky Dug
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#112 Gonnae No Call Me That
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#113 Suns Oot Mirrors Oot
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#114 Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere
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#115 Scottish Panda
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#116 Just Subbed Tae Isis
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#117 Proud As Punch
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#118 F***in Tube
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#119 Sex Is Sacred
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#120 Guys Dont Use Tinder Its Sh***
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#121 Ye Ma Takes Length
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#122 Old But Gold
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#123 Fishsticks
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#124 At Least They Voted!
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#125 Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes
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#126 She Was Lucky
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#127 Happy Birthday To Big J
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#128 Security To Get A Munch
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#129 A Wee Fanny
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#130 This Is Madness
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#131 Lightning Lizzie
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#132 8 Year Olds...
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#133 Good Thinking Wee Man
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#134 Absolute Roaster
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#135 Expectations vs. Reality
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#136 Uncle Dug
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#137 ✌️✌?✌?✌?✌?✌?
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#138 Pretending Aye?
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#139 Being A Dad Has Its Perks
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#140 F***ing Yanks
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#141 Life Must Be Good Being A Dug
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#142 Meanwhile In Edinburgh...
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#143 Some Good Financial News!
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#144 Shame
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#145 Constant Struggle
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#146 Beautiful.
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#147 Sair Heid?
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#148 Thats No Hapnin
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#149 The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men.
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#150 Busted
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